Update on my mom

troubledone

Hi All,

I found a home in Kissimmee Florida that we can buy. Multiple homes are affordable there. Much better than Miami Beach, in many ways, but most poignantly: more affordable.

Right now, we live in neighboring apartments. It works well because she and I are very close, but we have our own spaces. Also, my apartment has a back door, so whenever she is here, if I need to, I can leave through back door when she becomes violent.

The houses in Kissimmee are 4-bedrooms. Lots of room. Her living there would stem the financial bleed. But in order for me to care for he, I would have to live there too. Because if I had an apartment, it would be a distance away.

This concerns me a lot. I lived with her before, in NY, in 2020, and I had to move out, because she became horrible to be around. I had no privacy. Everything was her way or the highway. I took the highway, and vowed to never again live with her.

And yet, here we are.

Maybe we could find 2 smaller homes/condos in same community, so I am close by, but not living WITH her.

Victoriaredux

Hi-have you talked to an elder law attorney about getting her qualified for medicaid [not the low income but long term care type to pay for placement- they can also research which states are best] and her doctor about getting her a geri-psych eval and meds to control her outbursts.

Talking through your options with an Alz Assoc no charge social worker would probably benefit you .

She will only get worse , you've tried living with her before and she can't safely live alone. What will make this attempt work better?

[Research insurance costs if you are looking to buy - Florida homeowners policies have become quite pricey].

Emily 123

I agree with Victoria,

A move will most likely disorient her more and exacerbate her behaviors. It may be that, if she attacks you again, a call to EMS or the police could have her admitted to the hospital for an assessment and let them initiate getting her on meds there. Her behaviors are the driving force behind the decisions you're trying to make. Getting her behaviors under control medically would help.