Just waiting for this day to be over!

Bailey's Mom

A little rant to save my sanity! I have been patient all day…made a special trip into town (hour drive round trip) so DH could go to Ross to look a shoes (he has approx 50 pairs of shoes in his closet, mostly unworn & still in the boxes). He woke me up at 4:00 am to see what time we should leave, even though we had done a 'review of the timeline' right before he went to bed. He wanted to leave at 6:30 am even though the store doesn't open until 9:00. Convinced him to buy a few pairs of jeans instead since he has lost weight and the pair he wears over and over (won't let me wash them) are embarrassing. Took him forever in the dressing room because he couldn't decide between the 2 pairs. Then we went grocery shopping which is always a stressful experience and to the gas station where he can never figure out how to do it. When we got home he decided to work on the golf cart, which means I have to work on the golf cart with him because he can't do things like that anymore. Finally, I thought I could sneak into to my art studio to paint for half an hour (all I can get away with these days). He immediately came in and asked me if I had a few minutes to talk about his bowel movements (I'm not kidding), which turned into hours & of course my creative urge was long gone. Next it's preparing dinner, serving, cleaning up and finally my favorite part of the day…when I can go to bed. Actually I stay up most of the night and watch tv just to turn my brain off & quit worrying. Wow…what a vent…I feel much better! Thanks for letting me go on & on…

annie51

Reading your post makes me, once again, realize how similar our experiences are and that we’re not alone. The time thing is something I think we all have to deal with. I have to wait until the last minute to tell DH if we’re going anywhere or he’s ready to go NOW! Every little thing I need to do comes with stress lately, even a one minute phone call may be interrupted. We’re watching a movie now and I’ve been asked 3 times in the last 5 minutes what the noise in the kitchen is (dishwasher). Glad the venting helped!

Biggles

oh yes mine too. Can’t wait for the next two days to be over which is so sad as it revolves around our beautiful son spending a fortune to fly up to see mainly his Dad and me for 24 hours. He has such a busy schedule. We Spent yesterday slowly creeping around the supermarket for food, spent time at home taking every shirt and undies out of the cupboard trying to decide what to wear to the airport (wouldn’t accept any help) awake at 4.30 this morning wanting to go to pick him up (his plane arrives at midday) got sort of dressed wouldn’t shower said he was going to hitch a lift because I wouldn’t drive him. Then he fell asleep at 8am and I prepared the guest bed, food etc. I’m exhausted, fractious, desolved into tears when our daughter phoned to ask if she could pick up anything at the supermarket. Our son wants to give his Dad his undivided attention so has asked for his sister to leave us alone (they actually get on quite well but we n this case a bit jealous) oh gosh I’m tired. I feel for you Bailey’s mum.

Biggles

Quilting brings calm

@Biggles

I’m sure you want to spend time with your son … but please, take the opportunity to go sit in a restaurant and eat a meal by yourself with a book. Let him give his dad that undivided attention

jehjeh

This all sounds so familiar. A brief phone conversation with a friend will be interrupted numerous times, for nothing more than "what time is it?", "what are we having for dinner?" (In 9 hours), or "I just wanted to know where you were".

An appointment creates panic. No matter how early we start getting ready he complains that "we always wait until the last minute to get ready". With an hour to spare i ask every 10-15 minutes if we should go to the bathroom and the answer is always no, he's fine. 5 minutes before ride comes he suddenly has to go. More panic! I factor in the extra time, the cabulance will wait, but he complains about me putting things off to the last minute.

Maybe the additional stress of the holidays has led to some much needed rants. It helps. Thanks for reading.

mathreader

wow. So much of what you all have said is part of my life. The phone! Everyone always tells me to call if I want to talk but being on the phone is so stressful. He always needs something or some help. If not he prances around letting me know I’m ignoring him. Phone calls are stressful! And timing? I’m on the other end. No matter what time I tell him our plans are he always needs more time before we leave. I’m feeling really stressed tonight. Apparently I am a horrible person again because I told him we have 2-4 houses (we do not).

midge333

Unless you have been a caregiving spouse, you have no idea of the cumulative stressors in an average day. Add on top of it the slowly progressive nature of dementia and you have a recipe for disaster.