What do you say to LO who is experiencing Hallucinations/delusions?

jbrocks

When my DH has hallucinations, talks about the people sitting around our house (just he and I live here) what should I do? What should I say. I mean, I've said to him that this is "our" home and no one is here but us. He gets mad and tells me that I'm trying to say he's crazy and that I'm planning on putting him in a "loony farm". Then the other day he was telling me how sleepy he has been lately and then accused me of slipping something in his food.

What is the correct response to stuff like that? What do you guys say or do?

mathreader

I tell my DH that I know he sees other people but I do not. I ask what they look like. He always says he can’t see their faces. He is always shocked that they fussy goodbye. I tell him that was a little rude. He wants to know why they didn’t stay for dinner. I tell him I guess they had other plans. At least in our house those people don’t seem threatening. Such a weird disease

mathreader

sorry. I should have read my post. He wonders why they didn’t say goodbye

jbrocks

Same with my DH he never can make out their faces. I guess I should just play along, after all I'm living in his world now.

BPS

I think as long as they are not upsetting him then just go along. My wife had a few hallucinations and they were pretty easy to go along with, but she also had delusions and I could go along with them except for the delusion that I was having an affair. I couldn't go along with that so I finally learned to just say that didn't happen and leave the room for a little while and when I came back she had forgot what she said and wouldn't bring it up again until another day.

BPS

Also when her delusions started getting more intense the doctor was able to prescribe medication to make them less intense. They didn't completely go away but she was not as upset by them.

jehjeh

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/232352#Comment_232352

DH had the same delusions. Suddenly sad because I had a boyfriend and don't love him anymore. I used to try to reason wirh him, reassure him but he would escalate and get angry. I finally learned to leave the room too. Works much better.

Worriedwife123

I found out that going for a drive helps him in clearing what I call as ‘foggy brain’. After 5 minutes of driving, it clears away and I just continue doing so until he tells me directions on how to go home.

We usually go through drive thru before going home so that when his mind clears up, he knows why we went out and that’s to get food.

Whatdowedonext

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/232400#Comment_232400

I like the "foggy brain" description. I often suggest something like taking the dog for a walk, playing guitar, making a snack together - something that needs attention, because that seems to help the brain clear.

SDianeL

rule number one never correct or argue with someone with dementia. It causes anxiety. Rule number two: You can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken. Fib if you must. Other things to try:

• Stay Calm: Don't argue or dismiss their reality; validate the feeling behind it. 
• Reassure & Comfort: Use gentle touch (if appropriate) and comforting words. 
• Distract & Redirect: Shift focus with music, activities, photos, or going for a walk. 
• Adjust Environment: Turn on lights to reduce shadows, cover mirrors if reflections cause distress, or remove unsettling objects.

Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” and search online for dementia caregiving videos by Teepa Snow or Tam Cummings. They are very helpful.

CindyBum

I always look when my DW says she sees people. I mostly say that I don’t see them. Sometimes when she thinks there are people in the house, I tell her I’ll go ask them to leave. So far, these seem to satisfy. She now talks to these hallucinations a lot more than she used to. That I typically just ignore.

Delusions are less easy, but like the others, I have found with just about anything (not wanting pills, to sit on the toilet, to put on socks, etc.) that if I leave the room and come back, she’s forgotten.

Hang in there!

tboard

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/71595/what-do-you-say-to-lo-who-is-experiencing-hallucinations-delusions

You are not alone. My DH has lengthy conversations and loud arguments with people who are not in our house. It is best not to contradict him or to engage him. That just makes matters worse. I do my best to re-direct his attention.

Whatdowedonext

I am frequently speechless when my husband talks about the “people downstairs” or “her” - the woman he’d like to date. I decided to start drafting things I might say. That’s helping me feel less stressed about his delusions and also helps me accept this new reality. I am also less likely to be sarcastic. Does anyone else do this?

tboard

I find that it is best to not have conversations with my DH about his hallucinations and delusions. It Is usually best to redirect his attention.

Bailey's Mom

Every, and I mean every, evening my HWD asks the same question when we sit down to have dinner. He asks if it's just the two of us tonight, or are the other people joining us for dinner? I used to try to explain that we were the only ones living in the house, but now just say "yes, it's just the two of us tonight" and that satisfies him.