Struggles with hygiene - how hard to push

annie51

I know this is such a common problem with PWD. My DH will not shower so after trying all the normal suggestions about warming the water first, warming the towels, etc, I started using rinse free soap on a soft washcloth. Tried to do a few body parts every day or so or hand him the cloth. But lately he even refuses that - just runs away and gets angry. Now that it’s cold he doesn’t want to take his clothes off, so washing him is becoming that much more of a challenge. Sometimes I can try another time and he’s ok but not always. My question is, how much do you push when faced with this type of thing? I don’t want to create a negative procedural memory that he associates with the activity so I usually just give up. Is medication a solution for this? And is it the only solution? He’s only on memantine at the moment. I’ve been delaying the addition of more meds but maybe I’m just being naive?

KathyF1

My husband was resisting showers too, the doctor put him on Seroquel and that helped tremendously. I’d recommend it! He still won’t shower every day but usually every other day.

BPS

Before my wife went to MC I found that if I had the shower on and said it is time to take a shower (telling her instead of asking her if she wanted a shower) she would go along with it more often, but I didn't push to hard and she wouldn't always cooperate.

M5M

DH is still mostly ok with showering, but I think that we have a defined routine makes it easier, even though he suggests he doesn’t need a shower, he still complies with the routine. I wonder if people who over the many years have done these bathroom items separately have a harder time. So my overall suggestion is to integrate yourself into the bathroom routines of your LO. Be there when they are using toilet, changing, etc.

We always shower at the same time, prior to bedtime. It is a planned, daily routine in our lives. We go into bathroom, it has a small chair so he sits while I shower first. He sees the process as it is happening, and so is not surprised as—out of nowhere- -he might be if I just said “Go take a shower”. So, to continue…the heater is on and door is closed. He is aware of everything I do, so follows pretty easily.. When I get out, he follows. He is visually impaired, so I put his pills out and put toothpaste on his toothbrush. I make sure his towel is quickly accessible. He mostly can find PJs but not always, so I make sure they are right there and that things get put on correctly. . At least this is working now.