ALZ and type 1 diabetes

teresa123

my DH is both. Memory worsening and has shut off his insulin pump several times and forgot. I'm afraid he needs help managing diabetes. He is also becoming difficult to live with because of anger and just forgetting what we are discussing during a conversation. He refuses assisted living. They say I can't force him. I am emotionally and physically drained, ill and exhausted. Can I just move out and leave him? He keeps saying he does not need help, but he does not drive and I keep track of his meds and appointments. There is no one else. I'm scared a lot. I don't know what to do.

midge333

I am in your exact situation but my DW is further along in her dementia. My DW has been diagnosed with vascular dementia although she probably has mixed (alzheimer's and vascular). I moved her into a memory care facility last month. My wife's dementia started nearly 13 years ago. I took over her insulin pump about 6-7 years ago. Type 1 diabetes and dementia do not go well together. Managing the dementia and type 1 diabetes nearly did me in and I threw in the towel last month.

Yes, he probably does need help with the management of his diabetes. It sounds as though he may also need to see a geriatric psychiatrist for his anger and agitation. I would have a low threshold to call 911 if he threatens you. He may need inpatient psychiatric treatment and then placement in memory care (or assisted living) for management of his diabetes. Have you consulted an attorney to get your durable POA and medical POA? I don't know what to tell you about moving out and leaving him. Maybe speak with an attorney?

SDianeL

We know how you feel. He can’t help what he does or doesn’t do. His brain is broken. You can’t reason with him. Yes he needs help with everything. His anxiety and agitation will continue without medication and you could be in danger. Your other posts indicate you have been overwhelmed and have been considering leaving him for months. Time to take control for your own mental & physical well being. See an attorney immediately. I don’t think legally you can just walk out and leave but I’m not an attorney. An Elder Care attorney can help you understand your options and assist with the financial aspects of Medicaid etc. which varies by state. Without an attorney drafting a DPOA and health care POA you cannot force him into memory care. Please don’t wait. Soon he won’t be able to read, understand or sign documents and the only option may be file for guardianship.

harshedbuzz

@teresa123

If he has anger issues, those will need to be dealt with before placement is possible. He may need a short geripsych hospitalization to get his behavior under control first. You could have him transported to the ER if he is a threat to himself or others. I do not know if mismanagement of his diabetes would qualify as self-harm or not.

That said, he doesn't sound like a candidate for AL given his memory issues. You may have difficulty, depending on your state's licensing of care facilities to find an AL or MCF able to manage an insulin dependent diabetic. He may need skilled nursing.

HB

Biggles

Hi teresa123 I have nothing to offer except I hear you and send hugs, hang in there and do whatever you can do, organising finances is one of the most important things and listen to the good advice offered on this forum. It’s really horrible but you have to do what ever is best for you. Thinking of you, take care.