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Dreaming of the future

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  • RetiredTeacher
    RetiredTeacher Member Posts: 92
    100 Care Reactions 25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Member

    Thank you for the inspiring reminder that there is life after this and that Gid always has our backs....even when we sometimes can't see it.

  • tfnots
    tfnots Member Posts: 17
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    I sure appreciate the comments in this group. As I try to dream of a future and I wonder about the here and now.

    Sometimes I feel like planning a getaway in the present time. But then feel it might be to early an ask of family/friends to help with my spouse when I will probably need their help more down the road. Is anyone continuing with their own lives while their family member is suffering?

  • tfnots
    tfnots Member Posts: 17
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Thank-you sandwichone123. I appreciate your comments. I agree with you…it is hard, though. Part of the challenge for me is accepting that my spouse is out of my life..like they have already passed. And maybe that is a way to view it. Thank-you for your response.

  • RayeMc
    RayeMc Member Posts: 25
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    Member

    I have often wondered about a future when this is over and if I'll still be able to have any type of life at all. I've felt guilty when I tried to imagine my life without DH and the possible relief I will feel at not being a constant caregiver but I see I am not alone in having these thoughts. I will attempt to no longer feel guilty but to feel this is just part of the process and that it is actually healthy. Thank you for your post.

  • Lilydaisy
    Lilydaisy Member Posts: 37
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    That was a touching but realistic post in my view. We must be able to accept reality even when we try to be a little optimistic. And hope for the future is sometimes all we need to get through difficult times. Your life isn't over and you have to keep living it.

    There are times when we are driving in heavy rain or snow and it seems it will never end. And then it does.

  • tfnots
    tfnots Member Posts: 17
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Thank-you. As it's said 'this, too, will pass' Even if it seems so slow. Not all days are bad…but in the long view sometimes I wonder if there will be anything of me left when it's over.

  • tfnots
    tfnots Member Posts: 17
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Thank-you I appreciate your encouraging words. Guilt is a tough one. There is a lot of suffering in the world and I can't change anything, only me and my reactions. And I know I need to apply this perspective to my very personal situation right now but it can be hard.

  • Carl46
    Carl46 Member Posts: 629
    500 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    I am 78 years old and still working full time, as a caregiver for my wife. I have worked full time since I was 16 years old. I feel no guilt at all in thinking what I might do if I ever get to retire.

  • KathyBol
    KathyBol Member Posts: 53
    25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    I needed this post this morning. I was awake most of the night feeling so sad about DH in MC with his girlfriend. I am going to try to be happy for him. I will ask that staff gets him ready to go out when I come to visit, and will stay out of the unit. I hope this way I don’t have to see him be affectionate with another woman. I won’t be upset or cause him to be upset. I am also planning a trip with sister! Thank you!!

  • tfnots
    tfnots Member Posts: 17
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Oh dear…I haven't thought of that possibility. Another 'friend'. I can imagine it is hard…life should be so different. And here we are. I think a trip with your sister is a great idea. As it's said we sometimes have to 'just do it'.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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