What to do in emergency!!

charley0419

I asked my wife if I collapse and was unresponsive what would you do. She had no idea who to call I told her 911, 15 min later I asked her again had no idea. This does worry me as shit happens. Has issues using phone. ANY IDEAS

Cardenas1816

Get an Apple Watch for yourself. It has fall detection that will automatically call 911 and can be set to contact a different emergency contact person (if you have one).

We got one for my FIL and it’s worked each time he has fallen.

Mint

Charley you do need to have some sort of plan in place if you can in case something happens to you.

Many things can happen to you besides falling. Two years ago soon I became septic and was not aware of how sick I was getting. One of my sisters called me. We had a normal conversation. In fact we were planning on going plant shopping the next day. Two hours later another sister tried to call me and could not get a hold of me. She came to my home and found me unresponsive. For approximately 4 1/2 days I was unaware of what was happening. I was in the hospital for I believe it was 10 days. Once I got home, it took me about five weeks to get all my strength back. I needed someone to help me for a little while I couldn’t help anyone else .

If you can, you need to come up with a system for yourself and also one to care for your wife, if you would be unable to care for her for a period of time. I know none of this is easy. Hopefully maybe someone will come along with a system they have in place that would work for you too.

Jazzma

Caredenas —I didn't realize and apple watch would do that — I will get one for myself. Also, our local Fire Department has a 'CARES' department (Community Resources) and has a record that my husband with Alzheimers may be here. If they are called here because something has happened to me, he is to be taken to his Memory Care facility. The facility is also aware of this and will take him in no matter what time he is brought by. I hope you have something similar where you are.

annie51

I bought an Apple Watch for the same reason about the fall detection. I also bought a small metal band that fits on the Apple watch band that has my name, an emergency contact number (not my DH), and the statement that “spouse has dementia and must accompany me” so they won’t leave him there alone (I don’t have a plan B location yet). The little band came from RoadID.com.
Our county EMS department has a yellow dot program - it’s a yellow sticker to put on your car and on your front door that alerts them to look for the emergency information in the glove compartment or on your fridge. I have the same information about emergency contact and that he cannot be left alone.

aconite

You can also put emergency medical info into an Apple phone and set it up so that it can be accessed in case of an emergency. In addition to my medical info, I also included a statement that I am a caregiver and that my emergency contact must be notified. My DH would not be able to provide someone with my medical info even if he did manage to call 911 (which is doubtful). That info can also be accessed from your Apple watch. I think Android phones have something similar.

Some states participate in a program called "yellow dot" - so named because you get a yellow circular sticker to put on the back windows. It tells first responders to look in the glove box for the yellow dot forms in case of an emergency. Pennsylvania, where I live, is a participating state.

You can also prepare forms with medical and emergency contact info to go in your home for first responders. The refrigerator is a suggested location, but I had to use the outside of a cabinet - still in the kitchen.

I also put an icon on my DH's phone where he can call our daughter just by touching her photo. That was with her understanding that she might get calls by mistake at odd hours. I would NOT advise this for 911 since he has called our daughter in the middle of the night accidentally after unlocking the phone and then touching her photo when he puts the phone down. We have not yet reached the point where he calls repeatedly on purpose.

BPS

I asked my wife the same thing a year and a half ago. She knew she should call 911 so I asked her to show me and she picked up the TV remote looked at it for a little while and then didn't know what to. I told the doctor and the only advise he had was for me to always have my cell phone on me.

SDianeL

there are alert buttons you can get that you wear, that know if you fall and will ask you if you need help. If you don’t answer they will send he’lp. The VA gave one to me for my husband. There is a monthly monitoring fee. You set it up online and the service will also call family members or whoever you put in the system. I’ll get the name of it and post. I used it twice for him.

SDianeL

https://www.medequipalert.com

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/234585#Comment_234585

that’s my biggest worry

harshedbuzz

This is how my mom almost died.

She and dad, as yet undiagnosed because of denial on her part, were at their winter house in Florida. I'd talk to mom every couple of days. I knew she wasn't feeling well but had an appointment with the doctor. When I called to see how it went, she didn't answer. So, I called dad. He told me the PCP had referred her to a psychiatrist and that she was at the pool. I tried again the next day and when she didn't answer, he told me she was at Publix. This went on a a couple days. Sometimes dad didn't answer either. I called the local police and asked for a well check. Police went to the house, dad answered the door saying he hadn't heard the phone because his hearing aids weren't in, that everything was fine and mom was with her friends at the pool.

I got a call from the local hospital less than 48 hours later. I was an emergency contact. Dad had dragged mom to Publix to buy wine and something for dinner. A neighbor who is a retired nurse saw her and was alarm by her color. The neighbor drove her to the ER over dad's objections. Mom was diagnosed with an autoimmune liver failure and he not only failed to advocate for her, he didn't even notice she was the color of a school bus. A few months ago she admitted that the day of her appointment, he decided to take her out for dinner instead.

It's best to have someone with whom you can check with you daily. Eyes on would be even better. In addition to either a medical pendant or Apple Watch, you might register with Smart911 if available in your area. This would allow you to share information about your wife's condition and who your backup is. I have a lock box on mom's door and the Smart911 will share the combination with first responders to avoid having the door kicked down.

HB

jsps139_

I just asked my DH what he would do if I fainted and fell on the floor. He stuttered around for awhile and then said … I don’t know. We live in an apartment building with 100 apartments … wonderful neighbors … I told him to just open the door to the hallway and yell “Help.” He said he would, but would he remember? Doubtful.
Charley0419 … you got me thinking. They really are not capable of assessing the situation and taking the appropriate steps to get help.

Carl46

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/234709#Comment_234709

You're right. He has probably already completely forgotten the conversation.

Last time I asked my wife to bring me the phone from my desk, she brought me a fistful of papers. She remembered "desk" long enough to walk ten feet to it, and "bring" long enough to walk ten feet back. She has declined since then. I consider myself an elderly man living alone and am getting an alert button as soon as I get time.

CampCarol

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/71835/what-to-do-in-emergency

Thank you for this post…I need to do something as well, and it keeps getting deprioritized to the bottom of the pile. Some kind of alert system seems like the way to go, but I also like the ideal of somebody checking in daily; I will set that up. I do it for my Mom; why not me too?

howhale

I have more concern for a situation where I did not fall but may have passed out, had a stroke, or some other issue which leaves me unable to call for help. During the day for about 5-6 hours we have a caregiver on site to assist my wife who is the patient with Alzheimer Dementia. Should I suddenly become unresponsive she would have no idea who or how to call for help. Because of her potential wandering, all exterior doors in the house are kept locked so she could not even go outside to call for help, if she even knew to do so. What has anyone done to address this type situation. The comments about ways to make sure emergency responders know my wife has AD and must be provided for and to ensure information is clearly available to them in the home are great ideas but only if there is some way to notify them for help.

aconite

In essence we're in the same position as someone living alone if we need help in the case of a medical emergency and are unable to call for help ourselves. But we have the added responsibility of our loved one. When my DH and I were younger, because of job locations, we lived in different cities for a time. If anything would have happened to either of us during the night, no one would have known until the next day. I guess we didn't think about it. I wonder if someone knows a person living alone that could provide us with some suggestions as to how they would get help…

Carl46

We have hit upon one of the very good reasons to place our LOs in memory care. If I have a stroke tonight, DW will likely starve while trying to wake me.

I guess if you have family or friends who care, you could arrange to call every day at a set time, with the agreement that they will send help if you don't call. One of my friends was a radio operator in Viet Nam, and they played music on the telephone line. If the music stopped, they knew the enemy had found the line and cut it.

sandwichone123

My dad is healthy but elderly and lives alone. We have a continuous family text going, but if he doesn't text when I expect him to (weather report in the morning, TV update in the evening) or participate in the conversation, I call and make sure he's responsive. If he doesn't respond I drive over there, which I've only done once.

One Sunday my brother said Dad hadn't answered his texts and he was going to call before he went over there. Knowing I had other things going on later I asked my brother if he wanted to be the one to find Dad if he was unresponsive. He didn't, so he called while I was available to go check. Dad answered that time, but later I told him about it to emphasize the importance of responding so I don't stress out.

AnderK

Just a quick comment about watches to register falls. I bought a Samsung watch awhile ago for my partner, and, when testing it, I NEVER had it register a fall. I pounded my arm on the floor, simulated falls, etc. Nothing. When I talked to the provider, and the company, I was told that the fall wasn't hard enough. What??? What??? One help desk person suggested I teach him how to push the emergency button on the phone. Ya. Right. If he could do that, he probably could call 911!!!

Others had better luck with other devices. Perhaps Samsung has gotten better in the last year. Just test the feature before the return window is over.

Best to all,

Kathy

harshedbuzz

@howhale

There are a number of options for sharing information about your wife's condition.

The Yellow Dot Program is useful for your car. If there was an accident, a yellow dot on the rear window alerts the first responders to look for information in the glove box.

Yellow Dot Program | Senior Drivers | Elderly Driver Safety

The above isn't all that useful for home. Smart911 is available in many communities. This service allows you to complete an in-depth questionnaire for First Responders— who's in the home with their medical history, medication list, doctors, preferred hospital, emergency contact and a photograph. You can add pets, special circumstances (mom has tank O2 in her garage for emergencies) and locations of a spare key to expedite entry to the home (mom has a lock box with a combination shared here). Any call to that address or from her phone to 911 makes this information available on route to the scene. Smart911 isn't universally available, but is great if it is where you are.

Smart911

If this isn't available where you live, you could contact your local police's community officer and give them the information you would want them to have. This tends to be more of an option in smaller communities.

A monitored medical pendant/device is the best option, but compliance can be an issue for some. Mom, no dementia, had a pendant for a couple of years but always had some reason why she wasn't using it. It didn't go with her many stylish outfits, she didn't need it in the house, and I forgot were common excuses here. I did get her an Apple Watch which she thinks is something all the cool kids have. It's not perfect, but she will wear it. I find my Apple Watch a little too sensitive— it's gone off when I bent over to unload the dishwasher. But so far, it has registered falls for both me and my mother. It's not perfect, but the best device is the one she'll wear.

Another wearable is a Medic Alert bracelet for both of you. One identifying her as a PWD and another identifying you as the caregiver of a PWD at home. While there are some lovely jewelry-like options on places like etsy, my ER nurse friends prefer them to be readily recognizable for what they are. I personally like Road ID as they have options for shoelaces, watch/fitness tracker bands and bracelets.

HB

ButterflyWings

Good thread. I have not prioritized this and am not sure what to put in place just yet, anyway. For me, that is. Here is our status for now:

1)For DH's care, I received a free "MyID" rubber medical bracelet from our firefighters after CPR training. It has a QR code on it, so if someone has a phone cam, they can scan it and access all needed emergency information. I have no medical issues thankfully, but it states that I am caregiver for someone with Alz who cannot be left alone.

2)Aide is here 7+ hours a day, M-F. But if something happened to me overnight or on the weekend, well… idk.

3)It has been years since DH could use a phone, he can't easily stand without help and would likely not notice that I needed help given late stage 7. Occasionally he will nudge me to get my attention or wake me in the middle of the night, but he can't verbalize anything that makes sense after that so…

4)Long ago, I recall an elderly relative and her neighbors had a system since she lived alone into her 90s. She used her porch light and a specific window shade for "all's well" signal.

• If the porch light was not on by dusk, or off by 7am - they'd call her.
• If her kitchen window shade was not up by 7a, they'd call her.
• If she didn't answer they'd call me. If I didn't answer, they went by to check or called 911.
• She bought a life alert pendant but refused to wear it. Or when wearing it would fiddle with it so often they called to ask if she was ok, and called me as her back-up to suggest she change to another device.

When she began to fall and/or forget to put her cordless phone on the charger so it didn't ring, etc., and sometimes forgot to turn the light off manually…or when the lightbulb was out and she or one of her senior citizen neighbors could not change it easily… the signals they had set up no longer worked. Just when she began declining (in her mid-90s), and really sometimes needed a "pick me up" (literally) off the floor.

It got to the point that she couldn't live by herself any longer and I moved in for a time (which she had REALLY resisted. Nothing against me and our lovely relationship - she just valued her independence to a fault and with no dementia issues, her Dr's supported her decision to live alone with daily elder check-ins).

I am going to see what suggestions are out there for caregivers in our situation. It is a potential problem I don't want to ignore for another day. It used to be that the biggest risk is DH would wander off and keep going, forgetting all about me. But now, he couldn't go to get help.

jehjeh

A few years ago, my sister became ill and she lived alone. We devised a system where she would call me no later than 10:00am to let me know she was OK. Only once was I unable to reach her and I drove to her home to check on her. She had slept in and forgot to bring her phone upstairs to the bedroom the night before.

In retrospect, we should have checked in again at bedtime. We always connected numerous times throughout the day but a bedtime call or text would have made sense. I also shared contact info with her neighbors so they could call me if they were concerned about her and they would check on her if I called.

I think everyone should have someone who will miss them if they become incapacitated.

Russinator

Thank you for this great thread. In the past I have thought about what to do but failed came up with a plan. It's time to put my "thinking cap" on and come up with a working plan.

howhale

Amazing that perhaps the most serious circumstance that could happen to a couple, with one handicapped by this miserable disease, is that there is just the simple "technology" of communicating with another being as a solution. I am working to set up your suggestion of a bedtime and morning communication process each day. I am lucky to have caregivers every day for 5-6 hours so at least someone would be showing up daily later in the morning. But from the time in the afternoon until then, we are alone. Like others have said, the medical alert technology only triggers upon a fall (when they work) so becoming unresponsive in bed or sitting leaves our loved one at risk. At least the twice daily calls limit the exposure to our loved one. Thanks for that suggestion. It is a start.