Wants to talk to his parents

annie51

I’m posting again on this issue because it came up again but worse. He wants to see his parents again. I said they were staying with his sister for a while. He wants to call them to talk to them. I pretended to call his sister and that she didn’t answer - and I would try again later. Distraction wasn’t helping at all. Then he wanted to drive to their old house and I think he thought it was our home. We got in the car and headed there - but it was dark and raining harder and I said I was getting very nervous driving and wanted to go home. I drove home and made dinner and he seemed ok but kept saying tomorrow morning he wants to talk to his parents. What will I do if he remembers in the morning??

This is very distressing!

CindyBum

I'm so sorry. My DW has begun asking daily about her grandma, who died over 20 years ago. I just keep fibbing with the same story of, "Your sister talked to her last week and she says your grandma is fine." I also pretend to text here sister and then pretend to read that same response.

Not quite the same as your DH wanting to actually visit his parents, but I don't know there much else in the quiver but continuing to fib and distract with other stories. Maybe someone else has a better idea.

BPS

My wife didn't remember if her mother was alive (she was) and would ask once in a while then a couple of months ago her mother did die. I told her once and then changed the subject and she was OK, She asked about going to the funeral and I told her that it was a long time ago. There has been a couple of times since that she has asked about her mother, and I tell her that she died but it was a long time ago and she is OK with that thinking it was long ago rather than recently. If she asks again and gets upset then I will rely more on fiblets, but for now she accepts that it happened long in the past. I don't think that would work for everyone but it works for her. She had a stroke 10 months ago and the other day I asked her how long ago she thought it has been and she said maybe about 3 weeks. Time is much different to each of them.

sandwichone123

One piece of advice I've read is that they're looking for a feeling, not really a place. You might try saying that they're not home, but what are you going to do there, or is your mom cooking something, or some other question that might get him talking about what he's looking for at his parents' house.

Addressing the content is hard, but sometimes you can get by addressing the feeling instead.

Biggles

My DH queries the whereabouts of various people including his father, my father and my mother strange he never asks about his own mother. I tell him the same thing for each person - your darling Dad died and is in heaven with my Dad and Mum and my brother and I’m sure they are having a great time because he was such a great bloke. I team that information up with friends that have died just for something else to say etc. I turn it into a party in the sky or anything else I can muster at the time and then go on to chocolate cake and coffee or whatever. It currently works.