Revealing diagnosis

didihamrick

Hum, I am unfamiliar with any medications or their side effects. I'm still so new to this that all I can do is hold on for the ride. I seem fairly okay in the morning but by mid afternoon I hit the doldrums and all I want to do is go to bed. This is completely unlike me. I'm typically high energy and constantly busy. I feel paralyzed with my mind alternately paralyzed to on overload with thoughts. I am only one month since diagnosis and await my lumbar puncture in early March. Obviously, as I assume with most, my world has been rocked. Thank you for your concern and information. Blessings

LBC83

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236276#Comment_236276

I'm an Engineer, not a Psychologist, so take this with a big grain of salt. :)

I think that receiving a preliminary diagnosis of AD would have a profound impact on any person. It isn't like you went to the Dr because you have a hangnail, and they told you to soak it in water for 10 minutes and trim it off carefully. Rather, the implications of AD are life-changing.

Again, I'm not a medical expert or a psychologist, but my sense from Psychology 101 in college many decades ago is that a perfectly reasonable reaction for anybody's brain in these circumstances is to "declare a truce" amongst all of the thoughts swirling around. The strategy a brain might use to implement this "truce" could be to project a strong feeling of apathy. Maybe this feeling is your brain telling you that you need to take a time-out, relax, rest, and take your mind off AD and all your other life problems.

Prior to my AD diagnosis, I never felt apathy. But sometimes, I now do feel overwhelmed, and need to take a break for some time from all of my daily activities. After the break, I feel better and more equipped to deal with the challenges of living with AD.

eaglemom

I've been thinking and you might want to think about changing your perspective slightly didihamrick. You are so new into this diagnosis your head is spinning, and rightly so. My concern is that you are waiting for the lumbar puncture with that as your focus. I think you need to focus past that time in March, way past that time. I say this because clearly you know something is going on with you. Once March comes and goes, you will still be dealing with whatever is going on. I don't want you to think after the lumbar puncture you will have a clear picture of the future. The lumbar puncture is just another 'tool', if you will, to further help in determining your possibly diagnosis. There very will may be more tests after the lumber puncture.

I certainly don't want to upset you but rather help you to understand that more tests very will may be ordered. It is quite normal to start the day doing okay but fade throughout the afternoon. Since you know this, try to not plan things later in the day. Adjust your day around when your at your best.

Deep breaths. Did you give any thought to finding a councilor that you could meet virtually? In the past you'd said nothing was available where you lived. Virtual is always an option, just a thought.

eagle

didihamrick

This is so helpful, eaglemom. I’ve been away this week helping my granddaughter move and “second-guessing” myself constantly. I’m in unfamiliar surroundings so my anxiety is heightened. Double guessing my driving abilities and how I interact with store peeps.
I’m kinda a hot mess.
My family does not want to have any kind of serious conversation. They blow it off with, “we will be there for you, Didi,” and “you’re a long way from having to worry,” and “we’ll be there for you.” I want to SCREAM! I want to say, “damn it, do you realize the death sentence I’ve been given?” I’m dying here and just want someone to try to understand how I feel. Yet I understand that they have their busy lives and at this point at least can’t be bothered with my issues.
mom terrified but trying hard not to give into my anxiety … because really, who would notice? I’m doing my best to put on a brave face but I’m afraid at some point I’m gonna have a complete meltdown.

didihamrick

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236880#Comment_236880

eaglemom, the lumbar puncture was performed yesterday. My daughter and husband both went with me. Yes, I am anticipating the results but also not too overly anxious. While I am not 'resigned' to the diagnosis, I am doing my best to live my life each day without an overly sense of dread. I have confided in only a very few people, mostly family who I have asked not to share. I am not Alzheimer's. I am Debbie.

eaglemom

I am glad that has been completed. It's nice both your daughter and husband were with you. I think you can view that as them accepting being on this journey with you - beside you. I love the mindset change you've had also. You are not ALZ, you are you. Through the entire journey you will be you. Live your best life, rest when your tired, arrange appointment in the morning or early afternoon, etc. I'm very proud of you. Take a deep breath and and only do what you can do, period.

eagle