feeling lost and depressed

Calibird

Hello everyone, I feel like I need to vent a little bit. I can't talk to my family because I don't want them to be sad. They are feeling worried already. I'm feeling very depressed and wondering what I should do. I'm on antidepressants and meds to help me sleep because I've been having trouble with that lately. I'm feeling just at a loss. Today was my birthday and I turned 52. I haven't felt happy today at all. I just keep thinking about my memory issues and worried about getting on the Leqembi infusion treatment that my neurologist wants me to do. I am worried about the potential for brain bleeds cause that seems very scary to me. I'm scared about my future. I'm worried about my kids and husband. I'm scared of what it will feel like to lose my mind. I saw my mom go through dementia until she died and to know that is what my future might hold terrifes me. I"m just so scared. I tried to reach out to my sister and she doesn't help at all. All she says is I'm praying for you. I'm like thanks but I need my big sister to be there for me not to just say I'm praying for you. I mean that is literally all she says to me when I try and talk to her about how I'm feeling. I need someone to talk to cause I feel like I'm going crazy. I really do. I don't have any friends. Not any close by to me anyway. I'm feeling like I'm just going to disappear. 😪

keep_hope_alive

Have you thought about seeing a therapist? Some therapists specialize working with people who have been diagnosed with dementia. Depending on your insurance coverage, you can even see one through telehealth if it is not convenient to go somewhere.

I have also found the 1-800 Alzheimer’s hotline phone number to be helpful. It is free, and they have counselors who understand, who can talk to you 24 hours a day.

About your sister, I will say that, sometimes people care, but they just don’t know what to say. Sometimes, like my sister, who has always dealt with stress by denial, they don’t say anything because that’s their coping mechanism.

Maybe they also fear that it will happen to them, so they somewhat subconsciously disassociate because of that fear as an automatic response. that’s not what you need, but it may be what they need.

I just try to think that people are doing the best they can at any given point, even if it may not be the way we would do it or the absolute best they could be in their entire lives. But if the people in your life are not supporting you the way you want, even if you tell them how you want to be supported, it might be better to find somebody outside like a therapist or a coach, support group, or call the Hotline.

allit

Hi Calibird,

My wife was diagnosed last year and we've been adjusting our lives around it. I've been looking at a bunch of different things. My wife found this podcast and I listened to a few and read more about Anne Fraser. She's a very positive person who has been diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment. She also took care of both of her parents who had dementia. So she knows this stuff personally. You might like to check her out. I'm hoping for the best for you!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bringing-hope-to-alzheimers/id1677794194

JustineDavis

Calibird, my husband is 58 and going through the same thing with fear/anxiety/depression - we do have the benefit of therapy and I have been tapping into every resource I can find to help. Here is something you should check out: https://www.caringkindnyc.org/ They have been so helpful and have programs for early onset participants, including their caregivers. We are so happy with them. We are on our own, and not everyone is equipped to handle this diagnosis. Forgive your sister, she will come around. I find that a few good listeners is all your need, and I always thank them for listening, even if it's hard. There are so many support groups you can find through the ALZ association as well. I am sending you good vibes to find your strength. You are not alone!