Reaching my stress level point

Mav2126

Hi-

I am a caregiver for my two parents living in one household. One has mild cognitive impairment and the other has low to moderate dementia. I have been caring for them for the past year. My issue is that my mother has become increasingly worse in the past couple of weeks. She can't seem to remember how to do any tasks she used to be able to do. My problem is I am reaching my maximum stress level point. If I take my stress level any higher than I will become depressed and it won't be good for anyone. We don't have any money and can't afford a home health aide. And I need to check but I believe we are ineligable for Medicaid because all three of all us have small incomes that add up to more than Medicaid eligible amount. I am scared of what the future of my situation will be.

SandraEileen

I'm sorry to hear that you're not only having to care for one parent but two! My hands are completely full with my mother. She has end stage dementia so she's very difficult to help. Currently she's laying on the floor because she won't scoot back onto the lift chair. IDK if it's more that she doesn't understand it just refusing to listen to me.
She has Kaiser so her care is not too bad. She was in the hospital then rehab for a little while following a UTI and minor pneumonia. She's had nurses covered by Kaiser coming to the house for the last two months. PT, OT and a regular nurse and also once that just bathes her. I'm not sure how long Kaiser covers this but as far as I'm told she just about to the limit and this will be the last week.

harshedbuzz

This situation doesn't sound sustainable for you.

You said:

And I need to check but I believe we are ineligable for Medicaid because all three of all us have small incomes that add up to more than Medicaid eligible amount. I am scared of what the future of my situation will be.

Back in November another member suggested you talk with an Elder Law Attorney to establish legal standing to act for them and to discuss Medicaid planning. Have you done this? These are the experts in legal matters. If you haven't, you really can say whether or not there may be legal steps that could structure their assets to help qualify them for Medicaid. States have differing strategies to provide a safety net for those who need this safety net.

While some states do have filial responsibility laws, they are only applicable in very specific situations. Normally the income or assets of an adult child do not apply to care for a parent.

HB

Mav2126

Thanks for everyone replying. It really helps to know people are listening to me and supporting me!

Anonymousjpl123

Absolutely! This would be too much for most people as most of us - like myself - who are only caring for one parent are frequently stretched to the limit. Now is the time to start planning.

Use all of the love that you have spent so far caring for your parents to find more sustainable situations. Along with an elder care attorney, I highly recommend calling the Alzheimer’s hotline on this website. It is not staffed by volunteers but by skilled professionals who actually can help.

It is awful - I hate the admin of caring for my mom - but it is well worth it. Come here, vent about it, tell us what you learn.

You are not alone.

H1235

Have you talked with your local commission on aging. This is free and they can probably give you some good advice.

mabelgirl

are you a member of a church? Also try area agency on aging and elder affairs. You’re in a tough position to say the least. Prayers for help.