They give her the phone daily!

NatalieB

My MIL has alz and moved into a MC facility a few months ago. It was a rough start with her getting acclimated there. She had an issue w/ her meds and became rather violent w/ staff. She was also constantly packing her things and going into others' rooms taking things. It's gotten better. I think they figured out her meds and she's a little more controllable. Not perfect, but better.

My issue is within the past week the phone calls have started. We didn't give her a cell phone when she moved in. She actually lost it right before she moved in, which was a godsend. She was in AL before MC and called us constantly - several xs day and night about just nonsense. We started letting things go to vm because it got so bad. We took a trip in Aug and she called/texted us over 140x in one week! Well the facility is now allowing her to call us. Again, her calls are nonsense. The other day it was that she had no clothes to wear and needed some (she has plenty). Today it was that she was in a car accident and needed us to come pick her up and to take the car to her husband's house so he could fix it. This is the same husband that she's been divorced from for over 40 years! I obviously don't want to upset the staff, but I'd like these calls to stop. They interrupt my peaceful day. This woman drove us crazy for over a year. When we moved her to MC, I thought we'd get some peace and the 'harassment' would stop. I'm sure some of you are thinking this is mean, but I almost lost my own sanity with the constant phone calls before. Granted, it's only been 1 call a day so far, but I'm afraid it will increase. My husband says just let them go to vm and delete them. Of course I'm letting them go to vm, I do not want to get into a lengthy conversation w/ her about nonsense. But it's just the fact that it's an interruption and a reminder that she can get to me when I see my phone ring and it's her.

I guess I'm asking what do i do? Can i ask the facility to stop giving her the phone? Can I ask them to 'pretend' to call me and just give her a dead handset so she thinks she's making a call? I have a friend whose mom has alz too and she says 'You're the last thing she remembers, don't take that away from her.' Ugh. Help!

Quilting brings calm

Tell the director and the nurse that unless the staff stops giving her the phone, you will be letting all the calls from the facility go to voice mail. Remind them that this means they won’t be able to quickly get in touch with you in the event of an emergency… such as if she is being sent to the ER. Or if there is an actual need. This is a training issue on their part. There is a reason why most MC residents do not have thier own phones … and it’s the constant phone calls.

NizhoniGrrl

They should be told not to allow this. Period. And why is it your number she calls instead of your husband’s?

Mint

interesting, we’ve had a lot of conversations about telephones on here. This is the exact reason I did not give my mother a phone when she went to AL. I think that’s an excellent idea if you are going to be forced to receive phone calls from her. For me that’s one of the reasons I placed my mom so I did not have to deal with the craziness of phone calls anymore. I would definitely give them another number for some other phone and the phone would be put on silence and just let her call away if that’s what it takes for the facility to be happy that they’re not isolating her. I understand they have rules but that way the rules work for both of you.