Easy ways to help loved ones understand

bjdtgd

My husband has Alzheimer’s. How do you tell a loved one with Alzheimer’s that family members of theirs have died a long time ago. Do you lie and change the subject? Do you tell the truth? I really need some help with this thank you.

SusanB-dil

Hi bjdtgd - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

We usually don't. If you absolutely feel the need to be honest, you can say 'they aren't available right now'.

There was someone several years ago that refused to lie to his wife, so she kept grieving over and over. The kindest thing we can do is tell what brings the most comfort. Call it a fiblet, if you will, so if our LO pushes for more, I usually say they are 'somewhere else and won't be back for a while'. ie: on vacation, on a business trip, to the store… whatever works.

Changing the subject helps a lot.

SDianeL

no need to tell them they won’t remember and will keep asking causing them to grieve over and over. Some say that when they ask they are anxious and wanting the feeling their loved ones provided. They say you should say they’re not home, then ask them about memories of their loved ones. What did his Mom cook, did his Dad like to fish for example.