My grandfather sudden change

L.Ritchie27

Hello, my grandfather,87, has been slowly losing his memory and in more recent months it’s progressed to not remembering what’s happened that day or who visited.
I go over to my grandparents house for a couple of hours once a week to stay connected to them. But today as I was visiting, I noticed a change in his behavior.
we were sitting on the couch, he usually like to hold hands for just a moment to tell me he loves me but today he kept holding on, went to rub my leg and tell me that I “felt nice.”
I didn’t think much of it, just agreeing that my sweatpants are very soft. But, later on as me, my grandmother and him were talking about visiting a lifelong friend of his that’s not doing so well, he started saying, “I know what I want.” And looked to me and said “I want you.”
Over and over, even in a whisper, making tongue movements at me. Making sure I saw.
It wasn’t him at all, I know this. He is the most kind, gentle, fun loving person I’ve ever had to pleasure to know, to grow up admiring. He never exhibited this behavior before.

I know these things can happen, forgetting who I am, mistaking me for my grandmother (I look just like her when she was young.) and I know he means no harm and doesn’t know what he’s saying to me.
I guess my question is; if anyone out there who has also dealt with advances like this before from a loved one, how do you cope?how do you make that boundary?
I love my grandpa very much and it was very intense to see him so unlike himself today and I’m just reaching out for some support.

terei

This is not entirely uncommon + has been discussed on the board regularly. I would just avoid being physically close to him until his behavior possibly changes. He will probably not be deterred by any discussions about it.

eaglemom

You handled the situation correctly at the time. Now you need to make certain your not put into that situation again. Meaning you can give him a quick kiss on the cheek, if that's something you used to do, then move away quickly. Sit in a chair, not on a sofa or loveseat. If he wants you to sit by him you've got to try a fibit. This is very comfortable, or I like looking out the window and seeing you something you can come up with.

I also wouldn't be with your grandpa alone. I know that sounds harsh, but its frankly to protect the both of you. This isn't uncommon behavior, but when it happens to you its very uncommon behavior.

eagle