Haven't spoken to aunt in months with dementia

Niecey2loved1

I live out of state. Aunt has dementia and incontinence. She has family who live closer.

My cousin was good about giving me updates on my aunt when she wanted me to come and take over. Since I drilled that that was impossible, I rarely hear from her. I sent cousin a text asking how she was doing. She hasn't responded. Aunt doesn't answer her phone when I call. I can't visit because of the condition of the house, which is unsanitary and I would need to stay overnight, as I am coming far.

I am concerned since cousin never responded back. I guess she's miffed because I didn't give up my life to be a caregiver?

terei

Yeah, that’s too bad. I am astounded by some of the behavior + expectations I read about on this board. You did the right thing. Maybe you can send some greeting cards to your aunt. My mom used to love them even after she really could not read any more.

v3

It sounds like your aunt lives alone in an unsanitary house? Since you can't get an update on her it wouldn't be out of bounds to get your Aunt on APS's radar - they can do a welfare check and if she is unsafe take steps to get her safe .

You'd be doing this for her -and for you - if your Aunt gets injured, financially scammed being left alone, you'd feel bad.