POA granted

mpang123

My mom has finally agreed for me to act as POA, not "springing" like it was originally. I now am legally responsible for her and hope I can do a good job. I will ask for guidance if necessary.

fmb

Please be sure you understand exactly what your powers entail and how to use them correctly. I say this as a cautionary tale to all POA holders. DH died on January 21, and already his daughters are threatening me with legal action for abuse of the POA. Do not hesitate to consult your attorney before acting. It will be the best money you ever spent.

H1235

It is a pain, but save every receipt. I put them in an envelope for each month and record each purchase on the envelope with the date, place of purchase and $. This is working for me, but it hasn’t been called into question by anyone yet.

mpang123

I keep track of all her purchases and payments in her bank accounts. I have already discovered some overpayments so I had to have her bills adjusted. I saved her lots of money. My mom still wants to be able to write checks so I make sure she's paying her bills right. Eventually I am going to write all her checks for her and forward all her mail to me. I am sending the POA documents to her financial institutions and other businesses that require documentation. I will consult with the attorney to make sure I do everything right. Lots to do...

mrsjohnson798

My mom and I have an appointment to see a lawyer about my gaining POA. I am concerned about getting her to agree. She thinks that she's fine and having dementia at 71 is 'normal'. *she was diagnosed on 2.13. Will I need her official diagnosis at the appointment? Any suggestions for managing her without her feeling managed?

H1235

This was just posted somewhere here. Sorry I can’t remember who posted it. It might be helpful.

https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/managing-someone-elses-money/

sandwichone123

Giving someone POA is not about their diagnosis. I wouldn't bring it up. The lawyer is responsible for determining whether the person is competent to sign—do they understand what they are signing and what it means, but they are not determining competence in a bigger picture. You should plan the appointment for a time of day that your mom is at her best so she can understand the plan. You should also ask for a "durable" POA and avoid a "springing" POA, which requires a determination of incompetence before it can be used.

Remember that POA is not about dementia—it's about having someone that can act on your behalf. Rich people use them all the time so someone else can take care of the business of life while they're away doing something else.

I would market it as the planning for the future that all wise people do, "in case" something happened to her, like she was in the hospital and needed someone else to take care of her bills. But I wouldn't mention dementia or that you think she is not capable right now.