Starting incontinence

jscott

I know this has been discussed many times before but I am hoping for some suggestions. My DW is still very functional. She does almost all of her ADL's alone. She was diagnosed 4 years ago and the progression has been slow so far. Recently however, she has had a couple random episodes of urinary incontinence. This is after having two or three episodes last summer while we were traveling. These episodes come without warning and she is stunned by them. My question is, how do you gently get your loved one to start using protective underwear? She is very resistant. I know I'm not unique and many have gone through this already. Your help and suggestions are greatly appreciated. She has anosognosia and is completely unaware of her diagnosis.

ladyzetta

When my DH needed to go into protective underwear, I asked him to do it because it was something I had to do, he believed me and said he would. So I got us both some, I wore some once in a awhile, and it worked.

jscott

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/235857#Comment_235857

Thank you, I actually did this last year when we went on a trip. It worked for a day. Worth trying again.

ladyzetta

Make sure they are the pretty girley ones. 😀

SDianeL

another tip I read on this forum was to replace all her underwear in her dresser with them. Make sure they are the prettier ones. Tell her they are the newest thing. Also get you some if you have to. It’s also time to make the bed waterproof. Get the mattress cover that slips over the mattress and zips not the elastic one. Then another pad and sheet and do layers so you can easily take off the top wet one at night. And start taking her to the bathroom often during the day and you may need to get up with her at night. Like potty training a toddler.

BPS

I got my wife some thin ones (I don't remember the brand) and put a few in her drawer and told her they would help her if she leaked a little when coughing or sneezing. Then when she had an accident I would give her a pair and ask her to try them. It was after the fact at first but it was a start. and we slowly moved to full time.

CampCarol

They now make washable protective underwear that’s very similar to regular ones. They are more expensive, but she might be more amenable to them vs something like Depends.

jscott

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/235951#Comment_235951

MIght you be able to share where I can find them?

wose

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/235963#Comment_235963

I just found them on Amazon. Wearever ones are 3 for 49.99. They are washable and only for small leaks. There are other ones too a bit less expensive if you google men’s or woman’s washable incontinence underwear. My HWD was receptive tonite when I causally mentioned them. I think maybe I’ll try them since he’s always changing his underwear even tho he swears it’s nothing.

harshedbuzz

@jscott

Because of anosognosia, the gentlest way might be to just replace her panties with one of the "prettier" Depends or Poise products leaving her no choice. Dad was super resistant, but he transitioned without any real drama.

https://www.amazon.com/Always-Incontinence-Underwear-Postpartum-Protection/dp/B0C3KR97Z9/ref%3Dasc_df_B0C3KR97Z9?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80401978192264&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584001441005662&th=1

https://www.amazon.com/Depend-Incontinence-Underwear-Disposable-Absorbency/dp/B0166NG2M4/ref%3Dasc_df_B0166NG2M4?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80058377454279&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4583657846813964&psc=1

The washable panties are intended more for someone who has something like mild stress incontinence. The most absorbent ones hold 6 Tbs. I know someone who used these before having a bladder sling procedure. She said they were very expensive and didn't feel as dry and the more disposable pads. She went back to using Poise pads in her regular panties.

https://www.thinx.com/collections/bladder-shop-all

If your wife is on the cusp of incontinence, a toileting schedule of a visit every 2 hours might buy you some time. This is the time to carry a complete (shoes and socks, too) change of clothing in the car in the event of an accident away from home.

HB

jscott

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/235963#Comment_235963

thank you, I think I need to make sure they are for more than just leaking. When she has an accident it is a full bladder unfortunately.

CampCarol

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/235963#Comment_235963

I purchased 2 pairs of washable incontinence trunks for DH at carerspk.com

They say they will absorb up to 300 ml (= 10 oz). He hasn't had a full-on accident yet, so I guess we'll see! Fingers crossed, since he's ok with wearing these.

For women, it appears their most absorbent is up to 150 ml (= 5 oz).

RetiredTeacher

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/235963#Comment_235963

I saw Amazon has the ones that are similar to regular underwear with padding. You can wash them multiple times. My husband has had many leaks because he couldn't get to the bathroom quick enough. He refused to wear depends. I'm going to get a few pair of the washable ones and keep them on hand for the future. Google washable protective underwear. Goodluck. This is so hard.

jscott

Thank you everyone. I think I will give the washable ones a try. We plan to travel in both July and November. Perhaps these will give my some confidence. All of this just reinforces the reality of what we are dealing with. My DW is so beautiful and sweet. She has anosognosia and I struggle with wishful denial.