Need advice on companion care

Timmyd

My DW is 60. She was diagnosed with EO ALZ several years back confirmed with a PET scan. She is deep in stage 5. I work from home. I would like to hiring some companion care so I can go into the office a couple days a week and get some time away. I need to prepare for a future in which I am not doing this alone. However, my wife's shadowing is very intense as is her separation anxiety when I am ever away from her. I have a hard time imagining she is going to react well to me being gone and her having to stay in our house with a stranger.

For those people who transitioned to leaving their spouse with a paid in home care giver, what is some advice for a successful transition to using paid in home companion care?

SDianeL

the VA provided caregiver support 4 hours per week respite care for me. My DH was late stage 5 going into 6. He was against help but I scheduled it anyway. I told him I needed time to go to doctors appointments which was partly true. The first time she came, I stayed home with them and we just talked. She patiently listened to him. I just observed. The second time when she arrived, I left. He was fine when I returned. By the third visit he was asking if his lady was coming that day. I chose the hours of 12-4 pm. I fed him lunch before I left and was back in time for dinner. She really didn’t do anything else but make sure he was safe. Make sure the caregiver has dementia experience and is a calm person.

Jgirl57

Much like SDianeL, I stayed with them the first couple of visits and then left for “ Dr appointments” ( I never mentioned social activities ) When I returned home each time I had a sweet treat for my HWD/alz. and I would busy myself with chores for about 15-20 minutes. Recently our care companion passed away unexpectedly and we really felt the loss. We have now hired a new care companion ( male) and it seems to be working out. No big expectations other than treat him well and call 911 if needed. Best wishes and I encourage you to give it a try

ImMaggieMae

We’ve had a caregiver that we’ve hired through an agency. Like others here have mentioned, I stayed in the room and sat around and talked while she was here the first couple times. After that, I would go upstairs and pay bills or just read while she was here. I or my sister who lives here are always in the house, usually upstairs, while she is here. She texts if she needs something or has a question. I often go out for groceries to to do short errands while she’s here. They get along well and have from the start. I told her that her only job was to watch him and interact with him, no light housework or anything other than making him a p&j sandwich or snack. The agency’s minimum is 12 hours per week, 4 hour visits.

terei

Introducing the companion as a friend who needs help(a job) sometimes works, or as someone who is helping YOU. Avoid saying the PWD is the reason the companion is there + make sure the person hired is aware of that. Others who have said staying in the house while they are there a couple times just to assess the skills of the companion is a wise move.

Generally, the PWD does become attached to the companion.

Biggles

So far I haven’t had any luck with a sitter. The advice given by the others is excellent. I think the important thing is that the sitter is aware that the client has dementia and that they know at least a little about the disease. My DH responded well at the start but later visits were uncomfortable because the sitter’s didn’t know what to do, they tried to play board games, tried discussing local and world events, tried to get him to walk in the garden and get him excited about life (go tell) etc. My DH has APHASIA as well so just another layer. We actually went through 3 care sitters to no avail. Just our bad luck of the pool of people we have to draw on. As it turns out at the moment, we are on our own. I’ll try again at a later date it’s all a bit sad. Good luck.