"Help! I'm stuck with deranged people (in MC)."

Merla

what does one say to this plea? My mom is in stage 4 of Alzheimer's and went to memory care at a facility that has a program for mild to moderate dementia. She is on the younger side, early 70s. She is physically active a healthy physically. She is only moved to memory care a few weeks ago. It seems like memory care has helped her cognition as she is shockingly coherent compared to what I was used to. It quite amazing.

However, her mood has taken a turn for the worse and she is complaining about the more advanced residents, how they're mentally ill, how she has no idea why she is there, how the place is poorly run, how she sees horrific things, how she feels unsafe, how she is scared of the other residents who look like monsters to her. This of course is hard to hear as there are definite elements of the truth and reality in it.

SusanB-dil

Merla, what parts of that are true? If so, might have to look into that.

Merla

The part that is true is that people's brains are not functioning properly leading to obvious impairment, ie people not talking or not talking intelligibly, people just roaming around, people who one cannot interact with others normally. My parents distinguishes between the "retirement people" (less impaired people) and the crazy people (more advanced people). And she complains about all the "old people" which is true. She finds memory care "scary" because people are like "zombies." I can appreciate her assessment because the first memory care I went to I was also taken aback and my sibling also had the same first impression.

SusanB-dil

Ooh…ok. Was worried that she may not be as safe as she should. Yes, I'm sorry that she may not feel that she is.

Dang I HATE 'this'.

harshedbuzz

@Merla

Ugh, this is hard stuff.

If the facility has an attached assisted living, perhaps she could spend some time participating in activities and meals in that area. My aunt did this for years when she went into a facility.

Dad's MCF was a stand-alone MC, but some families hired companions to come and interact with their LOs doing activities that were more appealing to someone in the early-middle stages of dementia.

Another option is to ask the staff if they can facilitate a friendship between your mom and another less-cognitively impaired resident.

HB

terei

PWD are notoriously poor reporters. I would do what harshed suggested but I would also talk to the staff about how she is actually interacting and participating on a daily basis.

She may be happily engaged most of the time, but when you are there, the complaints surface …so, so common.