My 93 Year Old Mom With Late Stage Dementia Broke Her Hip Yesterday

rpcasillas

My 93 year old mom is in late stage dementia and broke her hip yesterday. She’s lived with me for 6 years and this is the first major issue that requires a hospital stay and potential surgery. I’m waiting to speak with the orthopedic doctor and get his recommendations on treatment. I feel so guilty about what has happened. I should have been paying closer attention to her. If I could trade places with her, I would. This is so difficult to deal with. I don’t have the skill set to deal with this in a healthy way. That is why I am reaching out here. I will do everything in my power to get her well and back on her feet. Before this, she was able to use a walker for short distances and was in a wheelchair for longer distances. If anyone reading this can give me some words of encouragement, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.

Russinator

((HUGS))

ladyzetta

Please don't be so hard on yourself. She's 93 been with you for 6 years and this is the first major issue. You have been taking good care of her. There is no way a 93 year old can be stable on her feet. I'm 79 and I don't always have good balance. Her doctor will have some good advice, it may be the wheelchair, and she already knows how to use that. Take care of yourself, she's going to need you.

CindyBum

Agree with ladyzetta. Please don't be so hard on yourself! You're taking amazing care of your 93-year old mother. She's so lucky to have you in her corner.

xoxo

Cindy

midge333

Please be kind to yourself. This is not your fault.

BPS

There is no way that you can be there every second. You have done a great job. The only thing I will add is that my mom had Alzheimers and at 82 she fell and broke her hip. The surgeon wanted to do a hip replacement but she would not have been able to do the needed rehab. When I talked to the surgeon he had looked at the x-rays but had not been in to see her so he was unaware of her cognitive state. After our discussion he looked closed and came to the conclusion that he could put in a couple of stabilizing screws and it would be better in her case. Sometimes surgeons want to operate to treat the condition instead of treating the whole patient.

rpcasillas

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236164#Comment_236164

BPS..thanks for this insight. My mom is in the same exact position as your mom in terms of her cognitive/physical abilities to withstand full blown surgery/rehab. I am still waiting to see the orthopedic surgeon, but I was told that he/she reviewed her x-rays remotely. At least we are out of the emergency and in a regular hospital room.

May I ask how your mom did once she recovered from the surgery?

Thanks!

BPS

I am sorry to say. It was during the Pandemic and she got Covid so between the stress of the injury, stress and confusion from the hospital and Covid she died a shot time later.

White Crane

I'm so sorry you and your mom are having to go through this.

rpcasillas

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236205#Comment_236205

I’m sorry to hear this. I can only imagine the anguish you and your family must have felt. My family and I have decided to go ahead with the hip replacement after much discussion with the doctors involved with her case. I’ll let you know how it goes.

cdgbdr

I'm so sorry this has happened. I know you are bearing yourself up. You have done an admirable job! Please keep your mom's best interests in your heart and mind as this moves forward. Focus on her comfort and serenity, as well as your own. God bless you both.

SDianeL

so sorry this happened. Please don’t feel guilty. Elderly people with Alzheimer’s fall frequently. Even using a walker. My DH was in Memory Care and leaned forward and fell out of his wheelchair. The nurse was right near him but it happened so fast she couldn’t prevent it. A trip to the ER and stitches in his head. Praying for your Mom. Hugs.

harshedbuzz

I'm so sorry.

Please understand that guilt is not an appropriate or useful emotion in this circumstance. I hope the medical team is able to get her comfortable quickly.

Falls are inevitable in late-stage dementia. Their legs can crumble under them, they can roll out of beds and slide out of chairs. There is no human caregiver in existence who is faster than gravity.

HB