Steps to take legally

hedmanj

Caring for DH. Have wills and standard forms. What do I do in case I pass first. dH unable to carry on. Legally should I change titles now, rewrite my will, move finances immediately to sons? Will currently states goes first to spouse, should i change that? Worried.

Quilting brings calm

in short … yes. If she’s not able to handle the finances now, she won’t be able to if something happens to you. An elder care attorney should be able to help you set up a trust with your sons as trustee. You want the advice of the attorney to make sure that it’s all what’s best if she has to go on Medicaid( before or after your death). I’m not sure changing titles and deeds is what you want.

Carl46

We set up a trust many years ago so our property would go to our son without probate. At the same time, we did medical and legal POAs. It has been updated a couple of times since, and I have redone my POAs to relieve my wife with AD of that responsibility.

jfkoc

You are dealing with difficult matters that require the help of a specialist…NAELA attorney is what you are looking for. I have Will, DPOA, Health Directive and everything in a Trust.

Every situation is different. Go online to read about what you might need. Then make an appointment to which you will bring copies of all documents you have in place.

Like Carl, changes have been made over the years.

You can not have too many documents!!!

JJ401

I had some health issues last year and realized I could go first. In addition to the legal stuff, I put together a binder for his daughter. It has information on reoccurring bills, passwords to online accounts, his Medicare supplement, insurances, etc. and copies of the powers of attorney that list her as successor agent. I listed his doctors with their portal information. I made funeral arrangements and paid for it.
DH wont be able to help her find the info she needs. The binder makes it easy for her to find and use.

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Russinator

With my being 82 and DW being 72 the chances of her out living me are great. For several months DW and I talked it over, we came up with a plan, Then we took our plan to a CELA (certified elder law attorney) to make it legal. FYI my DW's best friend has several times said that, after I die, she was going to sell our house and have my DW move in with her. My DW hated that plan so, in case I died, she'd not be able to talk DW into changing our Trust making her the trustee. Here are a few of the high lights of our trust: 1) Our trust says that I am the only person who can make changes to our trust. That way my DW's best friend cannot do as she has said she was going to do. 2) when I die our house will be sold and DW's daughter, being the trustee and living in another state, will either put DW in her home or a MCF. 3) asap the money from the sale of our house will go to our children and grandchildren. 4) all the other money we have, including monthly income, will be for DW's care. 5) when DW dies whatever money is left over will go to our children and grandchildren.  It also states that in DW's daughter is unable to take on the trustee's job our oldest son will and if he's not able DW's sister will take it on. 

rockymtngrrl

We also got our wills changed so I have a trust, if I go first, set up with some trusted family members in the younger set as trustees (They're in their 30's and 40's now). We don't have kids so it made it challenging. Fortunately some of the kids in the family are smart and trustworthy. They have all been great kids but these two will be able to handle it. I am in the process of gathering info so they would know where all the bills are being paid from, any credit cards and bank info we have. Also, his POA's are not springing, so I have been giving copies to doctors and financial institutions now so there's no problem. Our attorney is very good at what she does.