Why caregivers go nuts

Whyzit2 · February 15

While waiting for his doctor’s appointment DH took a pamphlet off a table and read it intensely for 10 minutes. He then handed it to me to see if I would like to read it. I glanced at it and said it was interesting. It was written completely in Spanish. We don’t know Spanish. Hmmmm

Last week DH lost his house keys. We searched everywhere and called every place we had been without any success. Yesterday I replaced the lost keys with a new set. Today DH asked me if I had seen his keys because He couldn’t find them. I went into the bedroom to look and found them in a pocket. When I came back in the living room DH said look I found the keys. He had the original set in his hand. I said where did you find them? He said they were right here on the table. NOT! So now we have an extra set for next time.

JJ401 · February 15

I hear you!
House keys — They disappear in the house here frequently. I attached a Tile to them (I have an android phone). The Tile will ring and the keys can be located. Most often found in the underwear or sock drawer.

Right here on the table — for us it was his partial plate. Searched for over a week. Finally called the dentist to have a new one made. The day before the appointment I go out for a short while. Come home and he’s wearing the partial. “Where did you find it?” Answer — “I didn’t lose it. I always wear it.”

Medication — Could not find the pills we picked up. Looked and looked. Weeks later found them behind the spices in the kitchen cabinet.

While everyone needs a little adventure in their life, I could do with less.

Sunnyside42 · February 15

Exasperating as this disease is, there are these moments that add such levity, we have to stop and laugh and share it with others! I have a few of my own and write them down when I can. If we can get a bit of humor from some of our loved ones’s unique observations, then I’ll take it.

v3 · February 15

Does he need a set of functional keys? Is he going places by himself [should he?] - would you trust him to lock the door?

What if he loses his set in a place where they know him or address and then you'd have to worry they try to use them later —so you'd have a re-keying cost?

If not, I'd replace them with same style dummy keys [get a spare :) ] so he can have a set and it doesn't matter what he does with them.

"Gracias por leer este mensaje!"

Biggles · February 16

Here’s a laugh from the past and mentioned before. My darling DH’s mother lost her jewellery, looked everywhere for it, she got so agitated she was sure she had been burgled we got in the police. A report was made, sent to the Insurance company, they paid out quite a large sum and we replaced the jewellery. Three months later cleaning out the linen cupboard we found the lost jewellery neatly tied up in a handkerchief. Reported this to the insurance company they didn’t want to know about it. However DH lost his optical sunglasses a few weeks ago, eventually replaced them costing $400 and yes they have miraculously turned up. Oh my goodness such patience is required with this disease!!

cdgbdr · February 16

All so very familiar ! Glasses, keys and wallet are the hot items here.

RetaMeta55 · February 16

Thank you for that, I needed a good laugh! I hear you! I’m sure many of us have some interesting observations. Hang in there!

ZON34MB · February 16

How to keep track of the various medical and ID cards needed for my DW? When we drive anywhere, for example, the supermarket, if she were to wander off, she needs to be identifiable. Or, if there were an accident and she needed to be identified. But, if she carries a purse it will wind up almost anywhere. TILE may help for the purse, but first I need to find her and then look for the purse. I don't know how to attach a TILE to a person. if I tried, it would be a significant argument and she would remove it.

Carl46 · February 16

I keep my wife's ID cards in my wallet. She doesn't wander off when we are out because I keep track of her just as I did my children when they were small.

Carl46 · February 16

The best way to find any lost item is to replace it. That's why I have two pocket knives, etc.

CindyBum · February 16

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236451#Comment_236451

I snuck a tile into the coat my DW always wears. She has no idea it’s in there

harshedbuzz · February 16

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236451#Comment_236451

You hold onto her ID cards. If she insists on having some, slip laminated copies in her wallet. If she's an elopement risk, she needs a MedicAlert bracelet. You should also have one for yoursel identifying you as a dementia-caregiver.

ZON34MB · February 17

cindybum and harshedbuzz,

Thank you for these ideas. My DW does not always wear the same coat, (although she won't change most of her other clothes), and she is very sensitive to anything unusual in the clothes she wears. But, perhaps I can have a Tile sewed into one of the more frequently used jackets.

I've never heard of MedicAlert before. I will look into that.

annie51 · February 17

I have an Apple Air Tag in DH’s wallet for tracking him just in case, but it has also been a lifesaver for finding his lost wallet…in an infrequently used roll top desk, in the already made bed, on a bathroom shelf. The air tag can make a sound on the Find My iPhone app - wish it was a bit louder though.

Biggles · February 17

My DH wears a fantastic watch organised by our Occupational Therapist (I’ll attach a photo) he can no longer tell the time but the watch makes him feel normal. The watch needs no passcode, 3 people can be programmed as emergency contacts; it has a map tracking device which any of the emergency contacts can trace; you can ring the watch any one can press the watch face to answer and talk on it. Say where he is which has happened to him. It has a huge range we tested it with our son 1500kl away. I can’t praise this watch enough. Good luck.

howdoidothis · February 17

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/72294/why-caregivers-go-nuts

My mother was upstairs claiming she lost her glasses. I was downstairs, looked everywhere, then went upstairs to look, talking to her but not looking at her as we both searched. When I finally looked at her, she was wearing the glasses.

“What’s on your face?”

“My glasses.”

ZON34MB · February 18

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236528#Comment_236528

ZON34MB · February 18

Biggles,

That is a great idea. I will look into that as well. Thank you.

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