It’s Time to Get Help In the House

Karen711

Hi Everyone- it’s time for me to begin to have some help here at the house. My wife will hate it but I can’t safely leave her alone anymore. Ugh! I have several options that I know of, and they go from high end to “not sure”. $48/hr to $15. Highly credentialed to more of a crap shoot (which this whole thing feels like no matter what you do). I was just checking out Care.com. Any experiences out there with them? Any advice would be appreciated. I plan to tell my wife that I’m the one who needs help, which is true. I’m worn out (Lupus,etc) and can feel this affecting my health. I dread the anger that will come down (anosognosia) but feel like there’s no choice. It’s her or me, and she needs me. I need me. Ok, thanks and good wishes to all!!
Karen

White Crane

I have no experience with care.com but I do have experience with the area agency on aging. It might go by different names in different states. I live in Missouri and I looked up the area agency on aging when I needed care. They were very helpful and there was no cost involved. You might also look into Home Instead. My husband is in memory care now but when he was still at home it was a blessing to have a caregiver come to the house and relieve me for a while.

Karen711

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236578#Comment_236578

Thanks Brenda, I'll check these out. I appreciate it!

CampCarol

It’s been a while, but I used care.com as an interim solution. The issue with them (for me at least), is that I had to vet everybody. I received a LOT of applications, and weeding through them and the interview process was very stressful. You can buy the ‘background check’ package for an extra fee, which I did, but I have no idea how thorough it is. I finally found somebody suitable, but what killed it for me is that I then found out I would need to deal with a W2 form for her income taxes, or illegally pay her under the table. That was a dealbreaker, so I subsequently went with an agency. They cost more, but the person we have now (who DH loves) is bonded, insured and full background checked so I’m much more comfortable with the situation.

Karen711

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236631#Comment_236631

Carol, thanks! Very helpful, as these were some of my concerns as I thought about it all! Much Appreciated!!🙏🏽

Karen711

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236584#Comment_236584

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236578#Comment_236578

Brenda- I’ve just spoken with someone from Home Instead. They have a great website and the gal there was very helpful! I think I will pursue that option. Thank You!!!

mommafour

Karen - I also thought about care.com but ended up going with an agency. In addition to not having the headache of interviewing, background checks, etc. as you mentioned, our agency also handles sending a replacement person when the home health aide is sick or on vacation. It was also helpful when the first person was not a good fit and they sent another person who has turned out to be excellent help. I thought my DH would resist having someone other than me assisting him, but he likes his current person. I hope the agency sends someone great and you have the respite time and peace of mind for your own needs.

Karen711

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236720#Comment_236720

Thanks Mommafour! You make good points of advantages of an agency. I met with them today annd liked them very much. I’m looking forward to meeting whoever they send. I’ve been dreading this and putting it off, worried she’ll be angry about it. But I think her condition has progressed to the point where she’s going to me more accepting of these things. It’s like her anosognosia is diminishing as she gets worse. She has more of a sense of her losses. Anyway, I’m relieved to have started this process of getting more support!
Thanks Again!

Karen