Overwhelmed

Erikanicole

My mom 65 is currently in the process of getting diagnosed with dementia. Her current symptoms or confusion she doesn't know who we are ( siblings or cousin) she is also paranoid and always thinks people are in the house she believes that my dad is stealing money and is cheating on her, however in the same breath doesn't believe he is her husband. My days are spent mostly in tears (hers and mine) and trying to reassure her. This is all new to me and I don't really have anyone who knows what I'm going through, and could really use some advice.

H1235

Welcome. This is a great place to vent and seek advice from people who truly understand. On this site you should go to groups and then new caregivers. There is an article titled understanding the dementia experience that is very informative. The staging tool may also be helpful. A do’s and don’t for communicating with someone with dementia might also be helpful. You can also find other great information there. Learning all you can and how to interact with a person with dementia will help. Remember to never argue. Change the subject redirect, but never try to reason or explain, it just won’t work and will probably only cause upset for everyone. Mom’s neurologist recommend we see a lawyer asap. It was good advice. I would speak to her doctor about the paranoia and anger. There is medication that may help calm her at least. I don’t think there is much that can be done about confusion. So sorry you have to be here, but we are lucky to have each other through this horrible nightmare.

kSelvig

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236644#Comment_236644

I'm just curious why your neurologist recommended a lawyer? Was that just for power of attorney/advance directive stuff?

H1235

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236898#Comment_236898

Yes! If we had not seen a lawyer right away I’m not sure she would have been willing or able to sign them later. When we needed her to go to Al because it was not safe for her to live alone, she was not on board. I signed all the paperwork as her DPOA and she moved, but she would never have signed herself. I also handle all her finances. I imagine your dad takes care of finances now, but if he were to pass unexpectedly you would be in a real bind.
Is her confusion and paranoia worse in the evening. If so it could be sundowners.

mabelgirl

I found reading through past posts on this site helped me tremendously. I also encourage you to educate yourself on dementia and the brain, it’s fascinating but also helped me be just a little more compassionate. Tam Cummings has quite a few good you tube videos as well. Take care of yourself as it’s so easy to get overwhelmed with grief, anger and frustration. Prayers for strength.

H1235

If you look under groups on this website then go to new caregivers, you will find some great information. The staging tool is very helpful and the article understanding the dementia experience is also good.