Brands new. 1st Post! :)

Biancad123

Hi.

So...

I've suspected my mom's been dealing with far more than grief from her husband (almost 30 years) passing away for awhile now.

There's SO MUCH...

Well... the "doctor" she sees is AWFUL. Not just as a doctor but as a human being in general! He is FULLY AWARE that my mother is dealing with more than schizophrenia or physcotic episodes... or whatever other terrible medicines he has her on that are probably making her worse GGGRRRRRR!!!!!

I finally got her to let me go to an appointment 3 maybe 4 years ago now...

I told him EVERYTHING she was doing and he did a few tests right there that she FAILED ...

He ordered ALL KINDS OF TESTS.

He told my mom that she WOULD NOT be able to get another refill without completing said tests.

EXACTLY ZERO TESTS WERE DONE AFTERWARDS. SHE WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO GO BACK AND I'VE TRIED CALLING AND MY CALLS ARE NEVER RETURNED!!!

Anyhow... things are starting to get worse and I think she may have some other issues.... but she REFUSES TO GO SEE ANYONE BUT HER CLOWN "DOCTOR"


I'M SCARED... I LOVE MY MOM. I WANT TO HELP....

?????????

SusanB-dil

Hi Biancad - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Who holds POA? Please see an elder-law attorney for DPOA. Otherwise, you may have to go for guardianship, which is more hassle.

You would also need HIPAA rights for the doctor, any doctor. You could tell a doctor what you need to, but they would not be able to get back to you. In this case, to see another doctor, you may have to use fiblets. Tell her that her usual doctor has referred her to 'Doctor x' and she needs to go see that one.

It also sounds like she has anosognosia. This is not denial, but rather, the firm belief that nothing is wrong. Their 'reality' is the correct view of things.

Sorry you are dealing with this.

H1235

Welcome! Sorry you are going through this. I have attached a staging tool. I know it doesn’t really address any of your problems, but seeing symptoms listed in order of progression may be helpful. My mom had symptoms that I had no idea were related to dementia. In general I think the more you learn about dementia the better you will be at interacting with your mom. You will definitely need a DPOA. If it’s too late ( she will refuse or is not competent to sign) you may need to get guardianship. I assume she is living on her own. Is she safe in that environment? Would she know to leave if there was a fire? Is she still driving? These factors may allow you to move more quickly towards guardianship. I find comfort in being a prepared as possible. Document what you are seeing with your mom. If she is having a paranoid or delusional episode maybe even try to record it. These things may help a lawyer get you guardianship more quickly. It may even convince a judge she needs a geriatric psychiatric evaluation. People with dementia are not always able to understand reason. Trying to convince them they need to do something can be difficult or more likely impossible. Many resort to telling fiblits. As Susan suggested you tell her her doctor is sending her to a specialist, or her doctor is retired. Sorry to be blunt, but you make up whatever story you have to (that you think she will buy into) to get her the care she needs.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6372d16ea4e02c7ce64425b7/t/63f7b80d80d8aa3e3aa4a47d/1677178894184/DBAT.pdf

mabelgirl

What if you used a fiblet and just tell her Dr. Clown wants you to see this other doctor as his caseload or he’s on extended vacation … etc. ? Or maybe hype up the specialness of this new doctor … something she might find appealing