Defeated

southerngal41

My LO is borderline late moderate early late stage. A scan for a separate ailment shows what is most likely cancer. As upset as I've been part of me doesn't know why as the Alzheimer's is terminal in a sense. I'm alone and am crushed.

SusanB-dil

Sorry to hear about your latest news. All of it bites. ((hugs))

harshedbuzz

I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation.

Are you the sole decision maker for your LO or will others be making treatment decisions?

It can be hard to know what is the right thing to do in the context of dementia which is a terminal illness but one that can have a life expectancy measured in years.

A lot will depend on the kind of cancer and its prognosis, the treatment options as well as the presentation of your LO.

My dad, then 84, had a recurrence of a medium-aggressive prostate cancer just before he was diagnosed in mid-stage. His oncologist offered androgen deprivation therapy which consisted of an IM injection every 6 months. I supported mom's decision to continue this as the treatment wasn't onerous for my already difficult dad and it had the potential to prevent fractures that would have hastened his placement in a facility. Dad died from complications of Alzheimer's.

My dear friend's mom, then 90, developed breast cancer in the early middle stages. Her mom had stopped mammography saying she would treat after age 80 so the cancer was fairly advanced at diagnosis. My friend made the difficult decision to honor her mom's wishes and took steps to keep her comfortable at home for 3 years bringing in hospice about 4 months before mom passed.

HB

southerngal41

Thank you for the responses. No thankfully my dad is also around for decisions. Waiting to hear from oncologist. I don't want her to suffer but I'm not sure she could tolerate rigorous treatment. I'm in freefall after the news.