Wandering outside

farraf2001

My partner has been wandering every day now. The police were called six times in a month. She hallucinates and has delusions that there are other people inside the house besides us that want to harm her, or that her "children" are being held captive. She becomes angry and goes out the door, sometimes without her phone, which has a tracker on it. This happens day or night. She constantly talks about going "home", and sometimes I am able to stop her with words, and sometimes not. She wanders outside. If I put locks on the doors, she would just break the screens and go out that way. If I follow her, she becomes angry and tells me to stop following. The police come, then the EMTs, and if she doesn't go to the hospital for observation, she goes home again. Immediately after the episode ends, she doesn't remember it. Then she remembers pieces of it. I am on constant alert, since she can turn from friendly to angry in a matter of seconds. I don't sleep much. My life is hell right now.

The police suggested assisted living or something like that, but we have no money for it. He said they rarely Baker Act dementia patients, and it is only for 3 days anyway. There are no family or friends that can help. We might be able to get her Medicaid if she had a diagnosis, but she refuses to go to a doctor, and she starts to get angry when I mention it. Meds at her stage might do more harm than good, but we can't even get them without a diagnosis. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Gator1976

You never mentioned age. Is she on Medicare? She needs to go into an Alzheimer’s lock down unit. Find a way to get the diagnosis, quit listening to her and arrange the evaluation, quit asking and just get her in the car and take her there. Places that do these kind of evaluations are use to dealing with patients that have these issues. Reach out to your local Alzheimer’s Association. They can coach you and help direct you to the right place to go to get help. You’re not alone if you pick up the phone. Best to you, now go to the right thing for her.

ronda b

Have her 3day pyschiatrist adm. They can give a diagnosis.

Palmetto Peg

Let the police take her under the Baker Act and have her admitted for the 3 days. At the end of those 3 days, you tell the hospital social worker that you cannot keep her safe or yourself safe and that she needs a placement. They can't make you take her home if you keep repeating that you cannot keep her or yourself safe. The paperwork needs to be done now for Medicaid, and you will get your diagnosis. Don't wait - she could die outside before you even knew she was out!

terei

Palmetto is right. She should be admitted the next time she wanders to be assessed. At that point, absolutely insist that she is not safe at home and you cannot keep her from wandering…be a broken record. She needs to be placed before she harms herself or YOU have a medical event from the stress of your circumstances

Carl46

Wandering is one of the primary reasons for memory care placement. No one person can be on guard all the time to prevent the wandering, and the wanderers have to be placed for their own safety.

SDianeL

as others have said have her taken to the ER for the 3 days. Maybe they will put her on medication. Many hospitals have Case Managers who can help. Ask the hospital. Meanwhile get locks for the doors, close the windows and put locks on them so she can’t open them. If she becomes agitated, call 911. Have a safe room and go bag ready for your protection. Ask her primary doctor if they have a Social Worker that can help. Look up the number for your County Aging assistance. Keep us posted.

MN Chickadee

I'd second what others have said, you probably need to have her admitted to the hospital next time the police come. Tell the ER you cannot safely care for her and cannot take her home. There I would try to get her assessed by a geriatric psychiatrist. Not only is placement likely necessary in a locked memory care facility, but also maybe some medication to help ease the anxiety leading to this behavior. Better living through chemistry. You could try talking with whatever doctors she currently sees to find out what may be available at the hospital so you are prepared.

farraf2001

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/237127#Comment_237127

The police said they generally don't Baker Act dementia patients. The police came 8 times so far within a month. They came the last 3 days in a row. All they do is scare her back home, even though sometimes she walks dangerously close to a main road with traffic. How do you get the police to Baker Act her?

ronda b

Can you tell them she is a danger to herself. She's not safe to be home.

farraf2001

I have done that, and also explained that she sometimes walks close to a main road with fast traffic. The police just scare her back into my car and see us drive home. This happens again and again.

H1235

When you get her back into your car drive her straight to the hospital. Tell them she needs a psych evaluation. Demand it it you need to. Then as others have suggested refuse to take her home. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t feel guilty. This is the way the system works (or doesn’t). Our healthcare system is a mess.