outings

MOM37

Is it helpful or harmful to take the person for a ride or to a relatives home for a few hours when the person with dementia wants to "get out of here". Will returning to the facility be even more upsetting?

H1235

I think a lot depends on the person with dementia and the stage they are at. If they are a person who doesn’t want to be in a facility, leaving and coming back might be a problem. It might be best to disrupt their routine as little as possible for the first outing. So maybe just a drive, no lunch. Large groups and lots of activity can be disorienting and confusing. My mil was taken out of state for a funeral, probably at stage 5. She was so confused when she got back. We were able to take mil out to lunch for a while and still take my mom out when the weather is nice. The menu was always too confusing so my husband ordered for mil and we went at a time when the restaurant was not busy.

Anonymousjpl123

I 💯 agree with @H1235 - depends on the person, and how they are doing in care. Taking my mom home when she was in an MC that couldn’t provide the care she needed was a nightmare because she never wanted to go back, even when she was less miserable than other times. It was always worse after we went out, especially to my home for visits. Now, where she is, is so much better and she truly doesn’t hate it. Last weekend she came home for an overnight and was fine. She wishes she could live with me, but is not traumatized going back at all. She is so much better that she does understand where she is.

So some of questions to ask yourself: will the outing feel good? Will she be upset going back, or will it make her feel more alive? I think the key is getting her situated and never pushing. For example we never have company when we go out. Sometimes that takes a long time to figure it out, and you may never get it perfect.

sandwichone123

I took my dh out to dinner for almost two years, but I never felt like it would be a good idea to bring him to the house. I took him to my dad's house for holidays, or to my son's work to see him, but I though coming to the home we'd shared and then going back would be too much for him.