First post

tonyac2

My DH always wants to “go home”. When I ask where, of course he says his childhood home. It is so exhausting to try to distract him from that thought. He goes to bed saying it and wakes up saying it. He begs and pleads with me to take him there. Constantly, p l e a s e! I can’t take him anywhere without arranging for wheelchair transportation. Wish I had a wheelchair van so I could just drive him around. It’s so exhausting to hear his request and pleading. Is anyone else dealing with this? Thank you.

sandwichone123

When our loved ones have unrealistic expectations, it can be helpful to go along with them, but "not right now." So instead of saying he can't go to his parents' house, you might say we can go tomorrow or they're expecting us on the weekend. (You can say this on the weekend as well if he's lost track of the days.)

Then you can change the subject to what you're going to do or something else. We'll eat your mom's great cookies, or you can help your dad with his car. Usually when they're wanting to go "home," there is something they're dreaming of, so if you can find that feeling and address it, the comfort of home, it can be very effective. Addressing the emotions rather than the facts of their communication can be very helpful, so when he wants to go home talking about whatever emotion he's seeking can help.

ghphotog

That is a classic symptom. I dealt "I just want to go home!" over and over again for years. At first I would try to reassure her that she was home but that would make her scream and yell "This isn't my home!!"
Sometimes, back when she could walk, I would take her for a drive and that would help to reset her when she was locked into that mode.

eaglemom

What would happen if you simply ask him to tell you about his "home?" Let him talk, talk, talk about it. Ask him to describe the house, what color was it, how many steps to the entrance, what color were the shutters, trees in the yard, etc. One day just focus on the outside of the home. They to exhaust him asking questions about the area, yard, brick chimney, etc. The next day when he asks, have him describe the inside - possibly only the main floor if its a two story home. You see the point. Keep his brain going with details remembering. Slowly go through the entire house that way.

Do you have any photo's of the house? If yes, just get out 5 or 6 and let him share with you about them. Ask questions - it doesn't matter how he answers them, it matters that he's engaged.

Hopefully this will help somewhat.

eagle

tonyac2

Thank you for your suggestions. I’ll try them. I love this site, so many experienced and knowledgeable people. So sad that anyone has to have experience.

CindyBum

I did for a bit, then changed my DWs anti-anxiety meds (Gabapentin) from before bedtime to around 2:30pm. My geriatric psych also indicated I could play around with the dosage to find out what worked best. We found that dosage for now. She occasionally asks if we're home, but no more getting dressed and running out into the rain to get me to take her there.

Good luck.