Coping

monicashanon

Hello. This is my first time ever joining any type of support group for anything. I am normally a very private person and have been debating for months on how to cope with the fact that my father has been dealing with memory issues for the last few years now. It’s really hard for me to see him so confused and repetitive. Luckily, my wonderful mother is around and able to care for him full time. I visit daily and see the progression first hand. I know in life you have to be strong and stay positive. I’d like to think I do my best. However, as a 27 year old female, it’s hard to see my dad, the one I always went to, struggle. It feels like it progressed in the blink of an eye. Some days I have a harder time coping than others. There have been many tears and reminiscing on the past before this all progressed. I feel a sense of loss. Like I lost dad that I knew forever. Any advice on coping with a loved one struggling with dementia would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

SusanB-dil

Hi monicashanon - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Yes - it is hard to see a LO like this. And this is why it is called 'the long good-bye' - because even though they are still with us, it isn't the same. and yeah, that hurts. Coping varies, depending on stages. You will always be able to interact with dad, it just won't be in the same manner.

Sometimes the first thing that comes up on the forum is getting paperwork in order - DPOA and HIPAA accesses. There is also a section for folks just starting into this journey. Check it out, come back often, read other posts… It is very helpful here with lots of advice and commiseration.

Another is to make sure the primary caregiver, in this case Mom, gets regular breaks from caregiving 24/7.

'this' is hard. ((hugs))

psg712

More hugs for you. It is a different kind of grief, to mourn the loss of the person you love while they are still alive. Cry, talk, seek emotional and spiritual support from other loved ones, friends, faith community ... and come here for information and support. As much as friends may care, no one understands better than people who are going through something similar. This forum is the best!