Alz/ Dementia diagnoses 12 years

Neta

I'm new to this discussion, but I'm thankful that I can connect to individuals that understand my situation. My husband was diagnosed with Dementia 12 years ago. Until May 2024, he was able to stay home while I continued to work. He is now in a facility with other patients. It's like a big family. I'm at peace knowing that my husband has around the clock care. His condition has worsened in the last 9 months but he still eats & walk. Some of my visits are very heartbreaking, we have shared a life together for 31 years. This sickness is heartbreaking 😢 💔

Lkrielow99

My DH was placed Sept 2024. I visit most everyday and it has become my second family. The facility activities helps me believe he has a good quality of life. My DH has become much worse, but I have my friends. This is a terrible, gut wrenching disease. Much love to you.💔💔💔

SDianeL

welcome. We know exactly how you feel. Yes it’s heartbreaking. Love and hugs. 💜

Biggles

my DH is at home 24/7 care by me. 54 years of marriage. It is a sickening heartbreaking disease. He’s still walking but needs help eating and with everything else. He’s usually so sweet but has his frustrating days and gets irritable. Today after an exhausting morning visiting a couple of necessary shops then a drive through milkshake and walk in the park he asked “what’s your name?” and when we got home “where’s the bloke who was driving the car?” 2pm and he’s now softly asleep. It breaks my 💔

Biggles

Jgirl57

Welcome Neta , glad you found a place to share your feelings. (((Hugs)))

Mint

Virtual hug to each of you

I’ve adopted all the people that my mom lives assisted-living.

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/72474/alz-dementia-diagnoses-12-years

worse then heartbreaking

Gigi_

My husband has recently been diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer’s and he is in his early 60’s but he noticed memory loss about 3 years ago. I am here to learn and understand all I can as his caregiver and I also wanted to know what to expect asa far as what he will go through with this disease. I retired early to help with a special needs grandchild but now I am having to go back to work because he can’t hold a job with his short term memory loss. So, I am hoping to learn all I can here!

eaglemom

I think we all understand how difficult it is to be a caregiver to someone with this ugly disease. We do the absolute very best we can until we can't do it anymore. If you've placed your LO or are thinking about it, that means your still their caregiver, its just that your role is slightly different.

On a personal note, I know that the residents where my mom was placed very quickly became "family." I think its a wonderful thing to sit back & watch that happen, but less I digress here.

We are here to help you along this very bumpy journey.

a04723

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/237865#Comment_237865

My husband was also diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's - he was 59 - he will be 66 in this month. I kept him home until August of 2024. The first few years was more of the short term memory issues - can't remember what he did the day before or what appointments we would have coming up. In 2024 - 6 years after his diagnosis is when he began to progress a lot more - needed help dressing, going to the bathroom, showering and it was easier for him to eat finger foods, couldn't work the tv remote or his cell phone and was no longer able to manage his meds. He also began having some hallucinations. We did not sleep in the same bedroom any longer so I was not sleeping well as I was waking up and checking on him and making sure he didn't wander out the door. When he could no longer remember what he needed to do to have a bowel movement, I knew it was time. I had already had a few messes to clean up. He would also get up in the middle of the night and pee on the floor in the bathroom or kitchen - he would be confused as to where the toilet was. Putting him in MC was one of the hardest and most heartbreaking things that I have done - we have been together daily for over 30 years. I struggled the first 3 months with wanting to bring him home - but then I would think of what that would mean - absolutely no free time for me. My kids would help out letting me get away for a few hours at a time just to get a break but I knew he needed 24x7 care - I needed to keep him safe and well. The first month in MC was very hard - he kept trying to exit seek and would get violent. He was moved to a more secure unit and with staff that was trained to deal with his behaviors. Him getting violet was so very out of character. We worked with the doctor and got him on some meds to help with his behaviors and it helps - but things still change and meds still need to be adjusted. He will still refuse to take them at times and that is when his anxiety and agitation really kick in. I visit when I can but try to stay away when he is anxious or agitated as I know I am a trigger for him and I don't like to make things worse for him or me. This Alzheimer's road is tough - and there are days when you think you got it all and then days when you don't know how much longer you can do it and the guilt can be overwhelming. I try to keep reminding myself that my DH is no longer the same person that I married and I find myself grieving him even though he is still alive. I have been told many times - you need to think of yourself too and do self-care and always remember you are doing what is right for him. I wish you lots of luck as you begin this journey with your husband - read what you can and reach out to others for advice and support. Hugs 💜