Big Move today!

KathyBol

After touring several memory care facilities, I found one that really seemed perfect. I am waiting now to hear that the transport is on the way! I moved his furniture into his room, yesterday, with the help of my son and sister in law. It looks cozy and homey, Now, to help him ease in without too much drama! It has been such a stressful time, I am finally feeling optimistic, although nervous about his reaction to being taken to anywhere other than home!

I am thinking of telling him this is a temporary step, to regain his strength after hospitalization. Has this worked for any of you?

Gator1976

It’s “Personal care rehab”. Moving his furniture in helps give him the “homey” dealing.
So the speak. It’s a simple way of explaining it all.

Russinator

I thank you for being a good caretaker

White Crane

When my Dh went straight to MC last year following a hospitalization, I told him it was for rehab to get him stronger.

Buggytoo

I told my husband the doctor wanted him to get some extra care for his memory issues. That seemed to help him be comfortable with the new location, He has not asked to be taken home. He's been there four months now. Sending hope to you for a peaceful move.

hiya

May I ask what stage your LO’s are? My DH now just entered stage 6. I’m considering memory care. He can be easy to manage while on meds but now leaving him alone is a concern. I swing from yes it’s time to no it’s not time daily. It’s such a difficult decision. I’m concerned how long this can last and costs. My husband was diagnosed in fall of 22.
I was told that the way a facility I visited handle them coming, is they meet them upon entry and take for ice cream.
best of luck

SDianeL

yes. It worked for my DH. Tell him the doctor ordered it. Ask the staff what they recommend for the transition. They may ask you to wait a couple of weeks before you visit. When you do visit and are ready to leave, don’t say goodbye. Just slip out. It’s difficult but the best. Tell the nurse you are leaving and ask them to distract him or give him a treat. If he asks them about you they will give an appropriate response. When you visit again if he asks to go home, just say when the doctor says so and immediately distract or give him a treat. Hugs.

KathyBol

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/237938#Comment_237938

My DH is moderate severity according to the doctor. He doesn't know who I am most days, some days, he will. The transport to MC was fine, he was happy to see me and his sister in the lobby. We greeted him with big smiles and hugs. We went to the room, and he was delighted and confused how this could happen, to have his furniture and a few other wood bowls and lamps he made. It was sweet. We enjoyed a few hours of socializing with "neighbors" at wine and cheese social, then walk through the circular halls and a game of pool. All was good until it was time to go, I said I had a message from my son and needed to give him a ride home. Dh wanted to come, then wanted the keys to drive. The aid redirected him to room and he agreed that I should pick son up, then come back to take him home. He put all of his clothes on the bed, took all the pictures down, during the night. The nurse suggested that I do not visit for 4-5 days. That's fine, it will give both of us a break!

Jgirl57

I agree you need several days of a break. That was a big accomplishment getting everything ready for the move .

KathyBol

Thanks, Jgirl57, I went to see him last Saturday ,I had missed him terribly, and was just so sad. He was happy to see me because he thought I was there to take him home. I said I agreed he was there only temporarily, so why not show me around. He gave me a tour, then I told him I couldn't take him home since I had to use an Uber to visit. I told him the car was in the shop. That worked, all was well. I went to a Memory Cafe there on Tuesday, he participated, and enjoyed it. But, at the end, he was very determined to leave with me. The director redirected him with the announcement of Free Lunch, Tom" That worked. I need to go back now to install a phone for him {with pre programmed buttons} Wish me luck

Joe C.

I hope the placement transition goes smoothly for you and your DW. Good luck.

BPS

Everyone is different. My wife had a stroke so she was in the hospital for about 2 weeks and then 2 weeks of rehab, then straight to MC. I took her there telling her she needed more therapy, and she was OK with that. I have gone almost every day since then and there has not been any major issues about coming home. She does sometimes say she wants to go home but when I tell her she needs to keep working to get better she is OK. she doesn't know that it has been a year since her stroke. She thinks it has been a couple of weeks. I talk to her about exercising and taking part in the activities to get better, but she rarely does unless I help her with exercising. I have often wondered how much harder it would have been without the stroke and hospitalization. Saying a stroke might of been a good thing is weird for me, but she was also passing out every few months and that hasn't happen since the stroke either.

SDianeL

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/238913#Comment_238913

when I visited my DH I never said goodbye when I left. I just slipped out. He won’t remember anyway. It keeps him from getting upset. I would tell the nurse I was leaving and she would go distract him with a treat.

KathyBol

I used your suggestion just the other day. I had gone to a memory cafe with him, and when I wanted to leave DH was determined to go with me. I asked the nurse to redirect him. She said guess what? we are getting ready for lunch! That did it!