Mom wants to keep dad at home.

mpang123

My dad has been in AL under hospice care for 4.5 months. Mom keeps saying that she can take care of Dad at home because she can't afford it. The only thing that's holding her back is that she can't change my dad if he poops on himself. He is double incontinent. She doesn't have the strength to turn him over. She has beginning stage of Alzheimer's and her judgement is sometimes not logical. As her POA, I'm responsible for her but how can I convince her that Dad needs to stay put? I can't be with her 24/7 to take care of both of them. I feel guilty that I can't help them but I need to keep my sanity too. I understand that my mom is worried about finances but right now she can still afford it. Dad is not going to live too much longer and when he passes, I will focus on care for mom. I need to reach out for help from my relatives cuz I can't do this all by myself.

SusanB-dil

You are doing more than enough. Any of us can only take on so much.

You've tried fiblets? 'Dad's doc said he needs the extra care, or medical rehab, or PT, right now' might work?

Quilting brings calm

why not ask the AL if Mom can temporarily stay there with him?

mpang123

I will ask the Al director to see if Mom can stay with Dad for a bit. She will be able to see how the staff takes care of Dad and know she can't take care of him at home anymore. There is a big room with an attached bathroom in the assisted living place. That would be ideal for them. I'm going to see if this is possible.