Hygiene and related matters

brooklynborn123

looking for ideas about how to get my wife to wash her hair (or let me do it) and clip her nails. Once I can get that far I will move on to getting her to shower (am having shower chair and grip bars installed this week). She also refuses to let me bring in a physical therapist, even though she can barely walk up stairs after months of doing nothing but watching TV. I dread further physical deterioration as much as the cognitive decline. It’s so frustrating. Should I just let it be?

CampCarol

DH hasn’t showered in months. We do sponge baths with cloths, and I ‘wash’ his hair with Drench shampoo caps which he tolerates. Every once in a while, I can get him to a barber because his beard will start to itch. The bigger issue to me is his lack of movement. I’m in the same boat as you; he won’t walk around in the house, refuses to leave the house and doesn’t want PT to come. As a result, he’s gotten very weak. My plan was to try and keep him home for the duration, but I will have to place him if he can’t walk/support himself. Now maybe your wife is small enough so you can still care for her should she deteriorate further, but if not, (to me), placement would the next step should you ‘let it be’. Just my opinion, I’m hoping others will have

Marchbanks

Look for “rinse free shower cap” on Amazon. It’s like a shower cap with foam that u can leave in. There are similar products for skin.

I struggled with nails he flat out refused and then his niece just showed up and did it. He howled and carried on like a 2 year old but she just ignored it and got it done as quickly as possible.

Same thing with refusal to do anything. He just lays on the couch all day watching TV. He is becoming a major fall risk and he weighs way too much for me to be able to handle. My plan is to keep him home till I can’t cope anymore but I have to be realistic.

brooklynborn123

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/237964#Comment_237964

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/237976#Comment_237976

Thanks Campcarol and Marchbanks—if nothing else, it helps to know that what is happening is not at all unusual. And I will look into those shampoo caps.

ImMaggieMae

I take a shower with my husband. At this point it’s the only way to do it. I cut his hair, trim his beard and cut his fingernails and toenails. I don’t necessarily do it all at once, but mostly before showering. Sometimes I’ll do one hand at a time while we’re watching tv. It just depends on how patient he is. I had grab bars installed in the bathroom and shower and use an adjustable, moveable shower chair. I bought some rinse free shower caps and tried one on my hair. Will use them as a last resort. I can wash his hair in the shower now.

SDianeL

I got tips on how to get my DH to shower from the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after his diagnosis. There are several reasons they don’t want to shower. (1) the forgot how (2) they think they just showered. (3) they are afraid to shower (4) they are afraid of falling and (5) they don’t like the feel of the water on their skin. So I told my DH “we” were going to shower 2 days a week.on the shower day I would get everything ready. I had a shower chair and Han held wand. I put his washcloth on the chair and got a hook for the towel. I turned on the shower to make sure the temp was perfect. I got his clothes ready. Then I would tell him it was our shower day and his shower was ready. It worked most days. If he didn’t want to I said we’ll do it tomorrow then and I would try again the next day. I left the door open so I could listen and I picked up his dirty clothes while he showered. Another thing that helped was medication to calm him. He took Risperidone. I know this might not work for some but may help others. The disease is so unpredictable.

cmcontrat17k

new to connect, thank you for your post on showering, I will definitely look for that book..

It is so hard to watch my very outgoing, vibrant DH going through this. My life has changed so much, so many plans we had . my heart goes to all of you and so glad I joined

M5M

My DH still will shower without objection, but I can foresee the complaints coming. Several months ago I had installed those stick on tapes on the shower floor and that helped to feel a little more secure. Not long after that, I came across a shower mat that I had never seen before—at a garage sale—and bought it. It is plastic/rubber, and is loosely woven so that the water drains through it. DH was most impressed and truly we both felt much more comfortable, the tile floor is not slippery to either of us. We took our last trip shortly after and I literally packed the shower mat in my suitcase. It was a good thing I did, our hotel had a lovely dual shower with a tile floor and no grab bars.

I did later see the specific mat on WalMart.com, now I can't find it, but they have several options to look at. I do pick up our mat most nights and lay it over the washrag rack to drain, so it doesn't mildew. Hopefully this will help DH shower a while longer without complaint. They cost as little as $6-$10.

Arrowhead

Try cutting his nails when he's sleeping.

fmb

To second Arrowhead, I used to cut DH's fingernails while he was sleeping. While he lived in the ALF. a podiatrist came every three months to check the residents' feet and trim the nails. He had a dremel-like tool that made quick work of the toenails, and DH did not object. His services were partially covered by insurance and worth every penny of copay.

cmcontrat17k

Thank you for some great tips ..