First post

mpschalow

My wife age 66 has Alzheimer’s. As you have to make decisions such as taking her car away… she is very upset and doesn’t understand why.. what is best way to explain why since she still thinks nothing is wrong with her

RetaMeta55

That is the hard part for the caregiver since the person with dementia lack awareness or insight in their cognitive decline. It had to take for my DH getting lost several times before I wrote a letter to his PCP of these instances. His PCP filled out the form that I provided to revoke his license and I sent it in to the MVA. It didn’t take long before a letter came from the MVA informing him that his license was revoked and to surrender his license. He was angry and devastated but it is for their safety and the safety of others.

Cranddi

I had to go through this with my wife last year (67, Alzheimer's). Her Neurologist referred her for an Occupational Therapy driving Test. It's held in a simulator to prevent any injuries. It clearly showed severe issues with decision making and reaction time and resulted in a report that said, "PATIENT MUST CEASE DRIVING IMMEDIATELY". It was still a difficult situation, but it at least gave me some backup and made the Occupational Therapist the bad guy.

WIGO23

My husband understood that with a medical record showing Alzheimers, we were now at greater risk of being sued in an accident even if it was not his fault. We discussed how this isn’t really fair and that he might still be capable of driving relatively safely in well known areas, it was not a reason to put us at financial risk.
We even got some humor out of it by saying I was now “Driving Mr. Daisy”!

JDancer

I was able to take over all the driving without ever discussing it with my spouse. I'm grateful, because discussions with PWD are rarely productive. If you have more than one car, I suggest you find a reason to get rid of all but one to ease the transition. Don't try to explain. her brain is broken.

SDianeL

I would talk to her doctor and tell the doctor what you are going to do. Then blame it on the doctor. I explained to my husband that the doctor said he has brain issues that caused him not to be able to judge speed and distance and that since it was now in his medical records if he were in an accident even if it wasn’t his fault we could be sued and lose everything. The next day he handed me the keys and never drove again. I joked and told him I was now his personal chauffeur and would take him anywhere he wanted to go. Whether this will work depends on what stage she’s in. If you haven’t done so already, read the book “The 36 Hour Day” and search for Tam Cummings videos online.

Biggles

I too have been through this with my DH who still wants to drive. You cannot use reason because their reasoning is damaged so you have to find any kind words that will fit the situation. “Ill drive today can you please navigate” look for a parking spot please; keep your eyes open for the shop; “you don't really want to drive in this busy traffic” “keep your eyes on the traffic lights” I can't drive without my scout. Anything that is kind while you get behind the wheel. Ignore having any conversation about driving. Good luck its hard.