Choosing a MC

a04723

I put my DH in a MC in August of 2024. Once he was there he began to progress rapidly. Today he is mostly agitated and aggressive - they continue to try to find meds to help him. When I chose the MC he was in I really did not do my due diligence. I opted for the one he is in because it was close and the staff seemed to be very nice. He started in a more open unit - but as he began to try to exit seek and get aggressive they told me he would need to be moved to the locked down unit where the staff was trained to deal with his types of behavior. Well, yesterday I received a 30-day notice that we needed to find another home for him because apparently they are not trained or equipped to deal with his behaviors. I understand that they need to protect his safety along with the other residents and staff but they apparently are not trained to deal with his behavior. When looking for a MC please be sure that it can handle all types of behavior as you never know what this disease will do to your LO. They can become aggressive and staff needs to know how to handle that and redirect as needed. I am now in the process of looking for a new MC unit for my husband and so saddened by what this will do to him again.

Jeanne C.

As you’re looking for a new facility, you may want to consider a skilled nursing facility instead of a traditional MC, which is considered assisted living. It can also be helpful to work with a geripsych provider to get meds adjusted first. Agitation doesn’t feel good, so it’s a kindness to your loved one in addition to making things safer and more manageable for caregivers. Good luck with everything. Sorry for you both to be dealing with this.

Jazzma

I echo Jeanne C's comment, especially regarding medications. My calm, sweet husband got agitated and aggressive in the evenings in MC. I had to prod them to give me the information about his behavior, and contacted his primary care physician along with a neurologist. Over time they were able to 'tune' his medications to ease the agitation without making him a zombie. Best of luck to you. This is incredibly hard. Hugs.

Palmetto Peg

Before you move him, I would ask for an opportunity to have him be placed in a geri-psych inpatient setting for medication management. My husband was in one for two weeks and it made all the difference in his behavior. He was very aggressive and also hypersexual, but the doctor there really knew her stuff. He is on Abilify for the aggression, and Cimetidine for the hypersexuality. He certainly has his moments even now, but I have been able to keep him in the first MC unit he was placed in, even though they were reluctant to take him and told me it was on a trial basis. It is worth a try, rather than upsetting both of your lives so dramatically. Good luck, and keep us posted!

SDianeL

so sorry about the facility wanting him moved. Hoping they get his meds regulated and he can stay there. Hugs

CindiEC

the first MC I placed my DH in wasn’t a good fit. Residents roamed around in and out of each others rooms with little supervision. One day when my DH was sleeping in another resident’s bed the resident tried to get in their bed and he pushed them out. Then he swung at caregiver. The facility sent him to a Geriatric Psych unit and our nightmare began. The doctor was difficult. He yelled, threatened and lied to me. The nursing staff was unkind and unhelpful. Visiting hours were 2 days a week for a hour.
my DH went from being ambulatory, able to feed himself and toilet himself to being strapped in a wheelchair so medicated he could do nothing.
when we finally got him discharged I moved him to a 12 person facility. The smaller place is much better for him. The caregivers take the time to gently re direct residents and head off problems before they start.
while in Geriatric Psyc we met another family with a LO from same original MC. A apparently the facility and doctor frequently send residents to hospital and try to have them heavily medicated before they return.
I hope you find the right place for your husband. Our LO don’t deserve this terrible disease.

Russinator

((HUGS))