Feeling So Sad 11

Biggles

Please don’t laugh 🤣 I sat on my phone and cut off my sadness post. Maybe that was a good thing it was enough to break my melancholy. I feel better but it happens quite a bit. My DH often asks who am I? Where do I sleep? Do I have a brother? etc mostly I just happily move on but it got to me today and I felt so very sad. How do we cope with this awful disease?

charley0419

may I ask from when you first diagnosed how long till the not knowing you start ??

Kat63

This disease is awful. Most of the time I am focused on the day to day but every once in a while it hits me and it’s usually at nighttime when my DH is already in bed. Not knowing who we are in the worst part. This last week has been very challenging for me.
Charlie0419, I knew my husband had issues for 6 years before the day came when he didn’t know who I was. That was the point where I actually had him officially diagnosed. I believe he was stage 5 at that point. That’s been 4 years ago now and he is now late stage 6, early 7.

White Crane

Dear Biggles, we cope one day at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time. so sorry it’s so hard and so sad. I do understand the sadness. It never completely leaves me even when I’m laughing. Sending you a great big hug and lots of love.

Brenda

trottingalong

my DH progression was quite slow for many years. This past year though, it has picked up speed.

Biggles

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/238452#Comment_238452

Hi Charley0419 my DH has had VD and APHASIA for around 6 years he is probably stage 5. It was about 12 months ago when he first asked who I was and it comes and goes, he also knows our children sometimes, forgets the grandchildren and gets them mixed up, knows most of our old friends most of the time but doesn’t remember new acquaintances. Mostly I can cope and understand this, like all of us when I’m tired it particularly hurts. Thankyou for asking.

marier

My DH doesn't really know who I am nor does he know our children. He is now at stage 7. I have been on this journey for about 10+ years. I do know that the sadness never completely goes away. I do have moments of joy. I try to laugh and appreciate family and friends. I cry often. I try not to dwell too long in self pity. I try to live as they say one day at time. I try to stay in the moment and not in the past or future. It is difficult at times. I pray every day for God's help. I know this chapter of my life will be closing and I pray I can cope with the grief that follows and hope that I can live the next chapter with zeal.

CindyBum

hugs to you Biggles.

Today for the first time, my DW has been utterly confused all day. Can’t comprehend what I’m saying, but she still knows who I am, for now. Hit me hard to see this next step, just like every new stage has hit me hard.

Her timeline? I first noticed obvious cognitive issues 6 years ago, but can track back a few years to more subtle signs. She was finally diagnosed with dementia in March of last year. She is still firmly in stage 5, though I can see stage 6 threatening.

LindaLouise

The sadness is kind of like my DH Alzheimers. It's different every day, I never know what to expect and it takes unexpected twists and turns. Occasionally I'll have a moment where I don't feel the sadness/grief and I notice its brief absence. Other times, I'll be maybe at Costco and see/hear an older couple having a debate about what to buy for dinner or making plans for a gardening project and I'll wonder - Do they know how lucky they are to have each other? The immense sadness of not growing older together (my DH is only 69 and in Stage 6) takes my breath away at times like these, and who would have expected that at Costco. I have learned that the moment that feels like its too much - that moment doesn't last forever and might be followed later by a moment of joy - like a grand child saying something silly and actually making me laugh out loud. So - just one step at a time, carry tissues just in case and know we all understand.

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/238583#Comment_238583

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/238473#Comment_238473

yesterday she was filling out something on line and asked me how to spell her maiden name and then married, set me back alittle on that one, so I just spelled it without question

????

My wife was diagnosed 3.5 years ago. She had a brain injury 30 plus years ago. There were signs of problems before she was diagnosed, but we thought it was due to her head injury. All that being said, I think the worst part of this journey is that it is a long journey that we have to watch everyday. It is a hard thing to do for both of us. When I think I am handling everything, something else happens and the goal post gets moved. Going to the local Alzheimer's support group helps me.