Help. No idea how to handle this

wordsmithJen

My dad, 84, hasn’t been living in reality the past few days. He’s had ALZ for 18 months and the past few days, he’s been packing up his clothes and referring to “they” want him to come home. He just unpacked his bag and is now repacking it. What should I do? I’ve been going along with it. I’ve put him in the car before and driven around so he thinks he’s in control. All advice appreciated!

sandwichone123

Sometimes it's helpful to find out what he'll do at home—who is he planning to see, what is the draw there. The you can go there or do that "soon," tomorrow or next week. Addressing the emotional component of "home" can be helpful (as can driving around) as they are often looking for that sense of peace and stability, often of their childhood home.

OTOH, packing and unpacking are great ways to fill time without chasing you or hiding other items.

H1235

While I can imagine it must be frustrating for you, is he frustrated? If he doesn’t seem upset I think the best thing to do is just let him pack. I know that probably means more work for you to unpack. If it you think it would work you might try telling him there will be plenty of time to pack later, its too early to start packing. I definitely would not try to convince him he isn’t going anywhere. So I think you are doing the right thing.

Arrowhead

My wife went through that period also. It wasn't just clothes, but food, toiletries, and other things as well. She would pack, unpack, and do it again. For the most part I just let her. There wasn't much else she had the ability to do, but she could do that. If nothing else, it kept her from being bored. As long as you Dad is happy and doesn't hurt anything, the best thing to do is to just let him.

SDianeL

I could be anxiety causing him to want to go home. Home is not a place, it’s a feeling. As others have posted, if you can help the anxiety that may help him. You can limit the amount of clothes he needs to pack by removing them.

SDianeL

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MTrpNwtuRuM&t=23s&pp=2AEXkAIB

MN Chickadee

Agreed it isn't necessarily about a place, but a feeling. They feel lost and just want to go back to that familiar safe time that is still in the way back of their memory. Sometimes even if you take them back to their childhood home they don't recognize it and it isn't what they had in mind. If he isn't greatly upset maybe just let him pack. My mother went through the packing up phase too, although it was after she moved to memory care and didn't understand her surroundings. The only thing we could do about it was limit the number of items available to pack in to limit the amount of stuff we/staff had to put back. You may want to hide luggage, laundry baskets and boxes. Sometimes a therapeutic fib and redirection may work temporarily. If he is having anxiety you may want to consult his physician about a med change to help with that which may help the way it manifests such as packing up. But mostly know it's pretty normal for the disease.