This journey

Anonymousjpl123

It’s been 3.5 years since my dad passed and I became my mom’s caretaker and her dementia took a fast slide. She moved out of state to be close to me 2 years ago. Many of you have been right there with me on this journey.

Staging: she was probably stage 3-4 before dad passed, 5 when she moved here. Now she’s in stage 6 in a good memory care.

She’s not depressed, they even go out for lunches, eat outside in nice weather (secure outdoor space), have activities, caring staff, etc. She sometimes says she wishes she could live at home - but who wouldn’t?

Last night for some reason thought I could take her home overnight. I wanted her to not feel alone. We’ve done it a few times and it was fine. Long story short she got the deadbolt unlocked and I heard the door but only after she had gotten out. Without pants on. In the middle of the night. Thank god she is fine and the cat (who got out too). Jesus. Everyone’s fine thank god. No more overnights obviously.

She hardly ever makes sense anymore. She still knows who I am but gets confused by photos. There are still thoughts there sometimes but less and less. I just wish there was something to do.

The irony is we never close at ALL - had a very troubled relationship - and somehow, loss is still hitting hard. Not even sure why. Others muddling through tell me how you are. Just needing consolation. So glad to know I’m not alone.

SusanB-dil

You are definitely not alone!

mom and I were never close, and yet there is sadness in seeing her in such a state and situation. 'this' just isn't her. Not at all. I see her as she was - a wife, mother, sister, and a nurse with a masters degree, and all of that is completely gone. That is sad.

jen ht

I am also muddling through as you've said. Good way to express it. It is a whole lot.

You are not alone. And this is very sad. As SusanB-dil has said.

I care and I am right next to you… just maybe in the next room.

Warmly,

jht 💜