One parent with ALZ.. one with encepalothopy and rejecting any help.. not sure what to do

etspears93

So my dad (61) was in the hospital/ rehab nearly 3 months for a bowel perforation and other issues. He is a lifelong alcoholic. During that time, my mother (66) was diagnosed with alzheimers. He discharged himself from the hospital AMA twice now. He does not care (or have the ability to care) about my mom's diagnosis. He was home one day and already had her driving around for him. I believe he has alcohol related dementia himself, but he appears functioning on the surface level.

My mom has been staying with (2 hours away from their home) me since he came home 1.5 weeks ago. She keeps saying she wants to go home. I told her she only could if we have caregivers coming twice a day to keep an eye on them. Since my dad is barely walking, I had hired caregivers for him, but apparently he keeps turning them away. Purposfully or not, he is making a hard situation downright impossible. I really don't have a good feeling about her going home. He is mean, verbally abusive and demanding. She is afraid of him and will fold any time he asks her for anything. I am going to start looking into senior housing closer to me but I really don't know what to do in this situation. If i had it my way, my dad would go to assisted living and she would live at home. I'm just tired of him destroying my family and we all have to accomidate it. What would you do?