From NPR: A piece on "Caregiver Identity Theory"

harshedbuzz

An interesting read-

https://www.npr.org/2025/04/01/nx-s1-5336314/caregiver-caregiving-identity-family-support-burnout

Carl46

Good article. The classic Greek philosophers (Plato, maybe) told us we become what we do.

wose

Thank you…very helpful even tho I cried my eyes out💕💜

CindyBum

Thank you for posting this. It resonates very deeply with me.

I’m just going back to work after nearly two months of medical leave for myself. Caregiving burnout hit me hard, and honestly think part of that was the fog and confusion caused by holding on to who I was and not welcoming in who I have become as a caregiver.

In my time away from work, I absolutely connected with me again and realized I have changed from this and that’s ok. My priorities have shifted. My approach to work is different and I’m freed from things like work and achievement and perfectionism that I carried with me for 59 years. I like this new me, even as I continue down this hard road with my DW.

Anna2022

Thank you for this article. It resonates with me.

Also, I was told two things when DH first started showing signs of dementia: 1) … that I would find a whole community of people who would support me and help me along the way (and I many of such people here!) and 2) … that I would need a whole new set of interpersonal and other skills to survive this journey. Both statements have proven to be true.

Jgirl57

Good read; Thank you for sharing

Goodlife2025

Thank you for posting the article. It will resonate with many of us.

GothicGremlin

This article really resonated with me as well. To be honest, I'm still processing it - there's so much there.

So many of the experiences described by the caregivers in the article are things I experienced too (we all have), like really needing to listen to my sister (who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and FTD) to try to figure out what exactly was going on with her. Figuring out her needs only became harder when all the nouns disappeared. And then there was the screaming….. The stress and burnout were with me always, and there were times when I felt like I was barely hanging on by my fingertips.

Caregivers say it scrambles old habits and patterns, rearranges intimate relationships, and forces you to confront your limits. It can excavate and reorganize the soul, what one caregiver calls mind and body fracking.

So very true.

It's been a year since my sister passed away, and my perspectives have changed - I've changed. Somehow I got through it. But yeah, more to process.

fmb

Powerful piece. It resonated greatly with me. When I first started the caregiving journey, I saw myself as a wife doing what wives do as part of marriage. As his conditions got worse, the marriage partnership fell away, and my role became almost entirely caregiver. It certainly was not a role that I welcomed, and I never really became comfortable in it. In the ten weeks since he died, I've been taking stock of who I want to be moving forward. This is also in part due to my 65th birthday coming up later this year; the birthday when one officially becomes 'elderly' for legal purposes, another role I do not necessarily welcome. With his and my mother's recent deaths, the loss of my relationship with DH's hospice team (some of whom became family for me), and my upcoming move to an apartment in a different part of town, I am already steeped in grief. I think what I am grieving most of all of the loss of my former self, as my life has become unmoored and cast adrift. So I try to hang on to what I can, my faith and the few supportive people in my life, and navigate the rough seas that are shaping me into a new being.

ronda b

Hugs. It's hard. I day at a time.❤️

Gibsonia

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/72682/from-npr-a-piece-on-caregiver-identity-theory

This in particular resonated with me

“You might feel tired but restless, unable to enjoy old pleasures, lonely but unwilling to reach out”.