Legal Repercussions

Korinjay

Hello, I am new to this site. My mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She was previously diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment. For 5 years I have been paying her bills for her because she asked for help and could no longer do it herself. She still has access to all of her funds and we have only had a couple instances of accidental miscommunication or forgetfulness that caused her accounts to be overdrawn.
Additionally, I have been organizing and filling her meds box for her for about 3 years because she can’t remember if she has taken her meds and will accidentally take multiple doses. With the meds, she hasn’t liked each step of me taking over more and more, but has allowed it with complaints.
She lives with me and my family, and we are building her an en-suite so she can have her own space and independence and privacy.
When we were at the appointment getting the diagnosis for the Alzheimer’s, the doctor said she should not be driving and that she needs to inform her employer about her diagnosis. She disagrees vehemently and anytime I have brought it up, she gets very, very angry.
When she is angry, she has said things that after she calms down she apologizes for. Nothing she says lines up with how she feels when she is not so angry. A friend suggested that I might need to look into legal protection because of her accusations while she is upset.
When all of her memory problems began, she made sure to sign all of the legal documents we thought we would need.
We have a Living Will, Medical POA, Last Will and Testament, and Durable Financial POA.
I am not even sure how to word what I am wondering…so hopefully this makes sense. Do I need legal counsel set up in case she accuses me to something in her anger?

The types of things she has said so far are:
I have no right to discuss her health with anyone.
She doesn’t trust me and my sister.
That we don’t have her best interests in mind.
That she doesn’t want to live in my home.
That she wants to move back to the state she grew up in.

Again, after she calms down she apologizes and does not say those things. I think it would only agitate her into anger again to bring those issues up when she is calm.

Could I get into some sort of legal trouble if she has an angry outburst and says these things or worse in front of people?
Thank you for your patience with my super long post!!! Any advice would be appreciated!!!

SusanB-dil

Hi Korinjay - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Not speaking as knowing law, but I have seen on the forums where what she says would have no bearing, especially since you have the diagnosis in-hand.

If you aren't sure, though, you could consult with the lawyer.

You are correct - it would probably agitate her if you bring stuff up when she is calm. Most of us just have to go with the flow - as they say, 'the good, the bad, and the downright ugly!' I am so very glad I knew my MIL before 'this'. She and FIL welcomed me with open arms. Now, she has no idea who I am. She only knows I am not the daughter-in-law that she remembers. (who died of breast cancer in 2000) So I have been accused of various things, screamed at, and even kicked at… yeah, it bites!

Korinjay

Thank you for your reply and your kind words! This is no fun at all! I am just beginning to learn to go with the flow, but the flow is not even! It is like a twisty turny river with smooth waters in some places then the rapids come out of nowhere.
I just joined the group so I will definitely be looking for this topic to see the responses others have already given.