Waiting

MarDel0917

Hi friends. My bf (45yo eoa) had his neurologist video visit this last week. I also had the conversation of MC admittance via hospice to a facility with his pcp. Pcp said he put the referral in and should have heard by end of last week beginning of this week. His neurologist said he is in stage 7b.

My heart aches. I know he isn't gonna get better and I know I'm doing this for him but I feel selfish. What about me? What happens to me? I will be here at out apartment alone. Yes I have family and friends but what about the late nights? How will I sleep without him next to me. I will miss his blabbering and noises he makes. Shoes all over the house and random items in random places. Him whispering to me "i have to pee". Then him sitting there doing his thing and telling me to give him a kiss or that he loves me. When he is having a hard time pooping and i squat down in front if him and we place our foreheads together and I reassure him im there for him and I always will be.

When do I go visit him in the facility? How is he going to react when he sees me? How is he going to be when I leave him. This is sooooooo hard.

We are all in this together. 💜

sandwichone123

Those thoughts are all normal, and when our loved ones have a terminal illness we all have to face life without them. The big difference is that with Alzheimer's and such we have such a very long time to think about it all.

Call the facility before the first time you visit. Ask how he's doing, and whether he seems to be settling in. Some families can visit right away, but many families need to wait until they are more used to the facility. At 7b, you may be able to visit right away, because the move may not mean that much to him. He may miss you while you are away, but he may not, because his sense of time may be altered and every time is "now."

SDianeL

if he is 7b I wouldn’t wait to visit and I would go every day if you can. Hospice has many resources to help you. They have counselors for you and the nurses will answer any questions you have. If they place him on morphine keep talking to him because he can hear you. If you need help sleeping without him home, maybe ask your doctor for a sleep aid. I know exactly how you feel. Praying for your strength and sending love and hugs. 💜

Biggles

I read your post and cried. I heard the deep love in every word. I heard the love and care that others don’t understand. My heart goes out to you and I fear for myself when my turn comes, and I feel selfish for that.