Vascular Dementia Coping

patsans

As recommended by another user I am making a new thread here.
hello my husband is in a facility which is hard I’m 76 years of age and have been taking full care of him since 95.he had a lot wrong with him last summer he locked me out of the house.since then he was diagnosed with vascular dementia.my daughter and I have been visiting him on sundays the last three he has said some very hurtful things to us and asked us to leave which is very hurtful we aren’t going to see him for awhile. I was wondering how other people handle this situation .this site is really helping me out thanks

charley0419

welcome this site a great place for ideas and help. I’m no where at where you are but I guess you know not same person you once knew, I guess stay away awhile

SDianeL

it’s not him it’s the disease. I would try going at mealtime when he’s more distracted. Try redirecting or distracting him with something. Ice cream worked for my husband. Don’t stay long and don’t say goodbye when you leave, just slip out one at a time. Let the nurse know you’re leaving so she can distract him with something. Is he on medication for anxiety? Talk to the nurse or doctor about meds.

patsans

Thanks for the ideas! He is on meds for anxiety and his dementia. They have him on aricept and Zoloft. Some anxiety meds aren’t good for him as they make him violent. So we are making sure we are careful on what they prescribe for him. We did have a video call with him on Friday and seemed happy with that. My sister in law was with him at the time. Other family does come to visit and since he is getting back into a routine, he is not as angry. He has been in the hospital so much due to complications of his kidneys and feet.

harshedbuzz

@patsans

My dad was very unpleasant when we initially placed him in stage 6. We found he had just enough wherewithal to cool it in public spaces, so we made sure to only visit him in the lounge or near the DON's office until that phase passed. During the early visits, I always took mom so I could pull her out of there at the first hint of nastiness. She felt guilty about placing him even after he became aggressive and wouldn't leave if I didn't physically remove her.

I found it helpful to always bring a treat to eat when I visited. Cookies, soft pretzels, fast food lunches were all good distractions.

HB

Russinator

((HUGS))