Lessons learned

RetiredTeacher

Sometimes we act emotionally instead of rationally. My DH with VD and I both miss the RV trips we used to take so I decided we should continue to make a few more memories while we can. This trip was more for me to have some recent memories when he's gone than for him. Not my wisest idea. We stayed close to home and only went for 3 days but he needs help with so many things now and his mobility issues made it tough to get him and the walker in and out of the RV. He struggled going with me to the trash can 4 campsites away! Does this sound like a good time for anyone?? Not only was I taking care of him, the two dogs, all the RV stuff, no moments to myself....what was I thinking would be fun about this scenario? I cried myself to sleep last night. Reality has finally set in. No more vacations, no more happy memories to make, can't relive or recreate the past. Wishing doesn't make it reality. Guess it took me one final hurrah to realize staying home where life is easier, albeit boring, he is more comfortable and our routine is very routine will be the future for us. Some people have to learn lessons the hard way.... Going to cancel the reservations I made for May and June and will be RVing at home from now on. Thanks for listening today, feeling very alone.

Russinator

I could have written your post. Praying for you and all others

Marchbanks

I also could have written your post. Right now I am writing up a description to sell our little Airstream. It’s kinda killing me because I have so many happy memories camping and traveling the country in that tiny trailer. No camping of any kind going forward. I thought we could maybe rent a cabin in a state park nearby but he has begun to sundown and wants to wander so I can’t risk it. I’m paying storage fees and insurance while it just sits so I know it needs to go but maybe I’ll just go sit in it one last time and have a good cry then let it go.

annie51

Yes, reality hit me like a boulder when I tried one last ski trip with our ski club last year. That decided it for me. Even a 20 minute drive is stressful now. We’re all in this together!

Timmyd

I commend you for your effort. It is better to give up having the certainty that comes from your experience rather than stop early and have to wonder if you could have done one more trip.

RetiredTeacher

Thanks for all your support. We got home and i unloaded the RV. Told DH NOT to carry the laundry basket full of perishable food from fridge as he exited down the steps.. of course he didn't listen, dumped the basket, thankfully it was only the basket....I know it is tome to stay home for whatever time we have together. I am not selling the RV. This trip proved i can do it all by myself. Someday in tge future I will be on tge road again making happy memories again. I need to hold on to that hope. Ty all.

CindyBum

Same, thought not an RV. My DW is the oldest of 6 kids and her immediate family is over 25 people. They are all up in each other's business all the time and have events, events, events! She misses all of those, so I tried taking her on a 6 hour drive to go see them all at Christmas. Holy crap…did it nearly break me. The drive was awful, the 3-4 hours together with her family on Christmas was lovely, then we had two more days of things and we couldn't go to any of them, because she wouldn't sleep in the unfamiliar place and wouldn't stop complaining and crying to me about why we were there.

Hang in there and I see a fun RV trip for you in your future!

RetiredTeacher

Ty Cindy

sandwichone123

I see that travel is over, but please be aware that there will still be good memories. Watch for them, and treasure them. They may be small kindnesses on the part of your spouse or others, or those funny things that perhaps we shouldn't laugh about but they brighten our days.

SDianeL

I cried when I read your post. My husband and I retired early, bought an RV and traveled over 200,000 miles. We were full time RVers. . After his diagnosis in 2022 we sold our RV and moved into an apartment. It broke our hearts. We tried one road trip in a car with my daughter and it didn’t go well. I know exactly how you feel. Sending love and hugs. 💜

Biggles

Yes same here I thought no more anything cried and cried and cried, no more friends even, because we shifted to be near our daughter (who very really visits- no time) and our “friends” abandoned us anyway, then we found disability sailing. I don’t know how long it will last but til then it’s so very good. They crain my DH into a 14’ dinghy with a skipper and off they go. Some clients in wheel chairs etc various problems young and old. Not many volunteers so I have been roped onto the committee and my confidence is back so I am now a support skipper. I have elected NOT to take out my DH so I get a break on the water. It’s a miracle once a week. So never give up it’s horrible but don’t give up hang in there. Ps I’m 75 not that it should make any difference.