New to this group .

Denise Teichman

Hi I am new to this group . I am really haven a hard time dealing with my dad have dementia and stage 5 kidney failure . He has been in hospice for almost 2 months now.
I am feeling extremely guilty for placing him into a nursing facility . I truly tried to take care of him but it took a mental & physical toll on me . All I do is cry and snap at my husband . I am at the facility every day . I am have a major break down I just lost my older sister a month ago. I need some guidances .

SusanB-dil

Hi Denise - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister.

It is easy to say 'don't feel guilty', but please think on this - There is only so much we can do. You didn't place him in a facility, 'this horrid thing' of disease did. He is safe, comfortable, and cared for 24/7 and gets that bulk of the burden off of you. You will always be his advocate, but now without such a toll on you.

He's blessed to have you watching out for him.

Coupled with your loss, I'm sure it all feels rather overwhelming.

SDianeL

so sorry you’re going through all this. Hospice has counselors that can help. Or the facility usually has a Social Worker who might be able to help. Caregiving is mentally and physically exhausting. You did the right thing by placing him in a facility where he can get 24/7 care.Take care of yourself so you can continue to advocate for him. Hugs. 💜

Anonymousjpl123

Please feel free to vent or cry or just share frustrations here. It’s a very difficult disease. To be honest my mom wanted to come home and live with me and even though some part of me wanted that, everyone in my life told me no. It’s too hard and I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Be there for your mom. Remember none of us get out of this world alive. We can only try to care for each other and ourselves as best as we can.

I would just say try to focus on being present the times you are with your mom. And the only way to do that is to take care of yourself as well.