How often do you visit?

Aera

I made the mistake of visiting my mom (every other day) the first time she was placed in a nursing home. It just kept her from acclimating and each time I visited her she thought I was taking her home. It was doing her more harm than good.

So, this time around (I took her out of the nursing home but had to put her back in 2.5 years later) I'm visiting her far less. The last time I had visited her was back in Dec. 18. It helps that the nursing home is not within walking distance and they're pretty good in keeping me informed regarding her condition.

I feel guilty but I feel she's acclimating better to her new surroundings (the last time I visited her she was upbeat and happy although she does have her bad days & they put her on lexapro 5mg which is quite low) & I'm scared that if I visit her she's going to get all agitated and insist I take her home.

To those of you who have placed your LO in a facility. How often do you visit?

SDianeL

I went once a week. I went at meal time so my DH would be distracted. When he asked to go home I said when the doctor said he could. He did ask every time. After I answered I changed the subject. Or you could offer a distraction. Ice cream worked for my DH. The facility had it handy. When you leave, don’t say goodbye, just quietly slip out. Tell the nurse you’re leaving so they can distract her if necessary. Is she on medication for anxiety? That may help.