looking for advice for "chattering"



For a few weeks now, it has been non stop repetitive nonsense coming from my DW combined with the intense shadowing which means she is rarely more than an arm's length away. I know ALZ is not a mental illness, but that is certainly how it looks and feels. I get to listen to her lose her mind in real time, non stop. Nothing she says is mean nor is there any anger. I still feel loved and valued, but the senseless noise seems to never end. My mental health is being assaulted and I cannot get away from it. Her PCP prescribed citalopram 10mg about a month ago and recently increased the dose to 20mg. It feels like tossing pebbles into the ocean.
Is this a phase that will eventually pass? I could endure if I knew how long it would last.
Has anyone had success with medication for chattering?
Any other tips for getting some quiet time in the house?
Comments
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My DH didn’t chatter per se it was more like babbling nonsense that then morphed into nonstop laughing. It started last summer and was a form of CIA level torture to the point where I would just lose it and either yell or burst out crying. He is now on 75mg of Seroquel which has tamped it down although it still occurs off and on all day. I don’t know if it was the meds or the progression of the disease that made it slightly more tolerable. I tried ear plugs and air pods but nothing short of removing myself from the house actually helped. I feel your pain.
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My DH talked constantly and followed me literally everywhere for a time, oh I know what you are going through. It’s torture. As he progressed and also got on meds (Klonopin and Seroquel) it stopped. Hang in there, it’s only for a time. But meds are part of the solution for sure.
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this video may help.
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My wife did little shadowing, but she talked a lot; mostly sounding like words but not being words. Some caregivers call it "word salad." Now she hardly makes any sounds, and when she does, she speaks so softly that I can't hear a thing. I would love to hear her voice again, even if it is senseless babel.
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I have a very generous work from home allowance because of DW. However current levels of chattering and shadowing have gotten to the point where I cannot have a conversation with a co-worker. DW seems intent on disrupting any conversation she does not feel involved in. If I don't find a solution soon, my career will be ending. I think that is what contributes to the stress of the chattering/shadowing situation. I have some occasional companion care that buys me some time, but I really need to be able to talk to co-workers at any time during normal business hours. Otherwise, it will be time to retire and begin spending down retirement savings.
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I found the chattering affected my ability to concentrate, making it hard to do anything substantive.
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The shadowing and chatter is one of those things that sounds very benign on paper but the actual experience can be maddening.
You might want to consider who you'd feel retiring if you find purpose or benefits to employment. Perhaps a day program would be something to try first. Maybe a geripsych would be better at medication to dial this behavior down to a more manageable level.
HB0 -
(((HUGS)))
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My DW did it a lot during stages 4 & 5. Repetitive nonsense phrases. Now that she is in stage 6, it has stopped. In 2023, my son had to stay with my DW for 5 days while I helped my sister move into an assisted living facility and it nearly drove him crazy. For me, I think it came on so gradually that I was able to acclimate to it.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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