Long Geri-Psych Stay!

CampCarol

At the end of last month/beginning of this month, I posted that DH had a complete mental breakdown at his rehab center, where he was recovering from a fractured tibia. He was transferred to the local ER. Here's the update: After 2 days in the ER, on April 2, he was transferred to an inpatient Geri Psych facility. He's still there. He is on a boatload of medications to try and treat his anxiety and violence: Ambien, Depakote, Remeron, Seroquel and Ativan (as needed). He is completely delusional, telling me every day that they are beating the cr*p out of him overnight trying to kill him. He said they punched his ear so hard, it flew across the room. Physical Therapy is non-existent for his leg, so he’s no longer walking. And because he can’t walk to the bathroom, he’s in diapers and now incontinent. What troubles me the most is the lack of transparency in this place; I’m not allowed into his room. When they went to get him today, they closed the door, and I could hear him howling in pain. They opened the door at one point and he saw me. He was calling to me, blowing kisses and saying he’s never going to see me again! I asked if the door could stay open, and they said no. Next thing I knew, he had kicked an aide in the face and possibly broken her jaw. The ward is really noisy (people screaming, slamming doors, even staff yelling up and down the hallway), and he is very noise-sensitive. Everybody (and I mean everybody!) has advised me that there’s no way I can bring him safely home after this, it’s breaking me mentally and physically. I don’t know that a Memory Care will even accept him, although for now (at least until his care assessment); I have secured a bed for him. On top of it all, his sister called today and told me that I was taking horrendous care of him, and that a dog hit by a car on the side of the road would be getting better care. She accused me of being cheap, that I should be moving him, finding other doctors, getting private help, on and on and on. I finally had to hang up on her, she was so cruel. I know many of you have been through Geri-Psych stays; are they always this long and this bad? Or am I overreacting, and this is somewhat ‘normal’ for this type of treatment? Any words of wisdom/counsel you can offer would be appreciated. My apologies for the long rant. Thank you all, you are my lifeline!

Goodlife2025

CampCarol while not yet as far along on the journey as you and your spouse I can give no advice. BUT I am including you in my prayers that your husband is granted the peace that only He can provide and that you can get your feet under you. When my DW's daughter becomes cruel and judgmental with no clue, I just cut her off. Not answering her calls or text messages gives me a little control, desperately needed. She does not get to treat me that way. It usually isn't long before she will try to play nice again but I always have my guard up.

RetaMeta55

My husband is in a Geri psychiatric unit which is part of the hospital. The staff are genuinely caring. Yes there are some disruptive patients on the unit but the staff seem to be on top of it. He had a rehabilitation stay due to a fractured neck. When he came home from rehab, his anger, anxiety, aggression paranoia and delusions all aimed at me heightened. I tolerated all this for about 3 weeks until I couldn’t. Through an emergency petition he was sent to this hospital. After his stay we have decided on Assisted Living.
Sounds like the facility isn’t the right fit for him. Is it possible to have him sent to another Geri Psychiatric unit preferably one that is hospital base. All Geri Psychiatric units have safety rules to protect staff, patients, and visitors. Once the staff find the right mix of medications I do feel he will be ready for Memory Care. Hang in there! This is not easy! My thoughts are with you and your LO.

Russinator

(((HUGS)))

LearningCurve

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/72864/long-geri-psych-stay

My thoughts, march down to Admin Office and speak with them. (Don't alert staff that you are doing this., just my opinion).Also, look for information regarding this hospital's accreditation so that you may contact them. Try healthgrades.com, etc. (Or even chatGBT).

Jazzma

I am so sorry this is happening. The only experience I have is when my husband was in the ER for 4 days with pneumonia and became completely delusional, violent, crazy. He spent an additional 5 days in the hospital, and when he came home I was unable to keep him safe. He spent about a year in memory care, and 2 months ago was able to come back home. It's good having him here though of course it's hard. All I can say is things keep changing, and finding the right mix of meds can make things better for a time. Wishing you strength and support.

ImMaggieMae

Delusions or not, there is no way I would leave my spouse in a place that wouldn’t allow me to see him and that degree of lack of transparency.

jehjeh

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. Just reading your post was horrendous. When my husband's in the hospital and became delirious for 3 days i was a nervous wreck. I called everyone i could think of who might help him, or help me understand if this was normal. (Both our doctors, patient advocate, hospitalist...) Unlike your situation, I could sit with him (he was restrained and an aide was next to him for my safety and his)

I support the other poster who suggested finding another unit. You might at least contact them to ask about their approach and treatment plan.

I hope you have someone who can accompany you through this. Doing it alone is so hard.

Praying for a good resolution soon.

jehjeh

easy23

I'm not experienced with geri-psych, but I am here to offer you support. My DH is in sub-acute rehab right now after an 8 day hospital stay. He had delirium and was aggressive and combative with the nurses at night. They couldn't discharge him fast enough.

He has been at the sub-acute rehab since Tuesday evening and was combative with the aide yesterday afternoon. I spent the day today sitting with him making sure he behaved so they didn't send him to the ER.

I know from first hand experience with a regular psych ward, that they don't allow visitors in the room; only in a special visitors area. The place was chaotic.

Maybe you should speak to your husband's case manager to find out what is going on. And I have a SIL just like yours! My sympathies.

CindiEC

I’m so sorry you are going through this. My husband had a horrible experience at a Geri-Psyc unit at a hospital The nurses were awful. The doctor when he finally called me , lied and threatened me. They gave my husband so many drugs he had to be strapped in a wheelchair.
we had to fight to get him out of that place. It helped that my son is a doctor and my daughter a social worker but I feel sorry for others in that place without advocates. Right up to the day he was discharged to his MC facility the doctor was saying no place would take him and also threatening us with court orders and calling Adult Protective Services.
What I mainly took away from the experience was that they were just trying to dope him up with anti-psychotics and did not care that he had AD.
I hope your husband is treated better than mine was.

Palmetto Peg

My husband was in a Geri-psych unit for two weeks, and is now back at his memory care facility. I did not experience anything like you have described! The staff was kind, calm, and competent. I know he gave them a hard time at first, and they had to medicate him to calm him down, but after two days he was doing so much better. I wasn't allowed in his room, either, but they brought him to me in the visitors room, and left us alone. I would definitely try to move him to a different facility, or at least demand to see someone in charge. I'm so sorry you are experiencing this - dementia is bad enough without the added trauma you have. Keep us posted! (((HUGS)))