Long Geri-Psych Stay!

CampCarol

At the end of last month/beginning of this month, I posted that DH had a complete mental breakdown at his rehab center, where he was recovering from a fractured tibia. He was transferred to the local ER. Here's the update: After 2 days in the ER, on April 2, he was transferred to an inpatient Geri Psych facility. He's still there and will be for at least another week. He is on a boatload of medications to try and treat his sleeplessness, anxiety and violence: Ambien, Depakote, Remeron, Seroquel and Ativan (as needed). He is completely delusional, telling me every day that they are beating the cr*p out of him overnight trying to kill him. He said they punched his ear so hard, it flew across the room. Physical Therapy is non-existent for his leg, so he’s no longer walking. And because he can’t walk to the bathroom, he’s in diapers and now incontinent. What troubles me the most is the lack of transparency in this place; I’m not allowed into his room. When they went to get him today, they closed the door, and I could hear him howling in pain. They opened the door at one point and he saw me. He was calling to me, blowing kisses and saying he’s never going to see me again! I asked if the door could stay open, and they said no. Next thing I knew, he had kicked an aide in the face and possibly broken her jaw. The ward is really noisy (people screaming, slamming doors, even staff yelling up and down the hallway), and he is very noise-sensitive. Everybody (and I mean everybody!) has advised me that there’s no way I can bring him safely home after this, it’s breaking me mentally and physically. I don’t know that a Memory Care will even accept him, although for now (at least until his care assessment); I have secured a bed for him. On top of it all, his sister called today and told me that I was taking horrendous care of him, and that a dog hit by a car on the side of the road would be getting better care. She accused me of being cheap, that I should be moving him, finding other doctors, getting private help, on and on and on. I finally had to hang up on her, she was so cruel. I know many of you have been through Geri-Psych stays; are they always this long and this bad? Or am I overreacting, and this is somewhat ‘normal’ for this type of treatment? Any words of wisdom/counsel you can offer would be appreciated. My apologies for the long rant. Thank you all, you are my lifeline!

Pett

Very sorry to hear what your going through. My wife has a severe and rare form of dementia, so I don't experience some of what you and others are going through and some I experience I haven't see here. But I hate the hospital care I've seen and would never leave my wife in that environment. I am also a chronic pain patient and lifting is not easy but still I would take my wife home and do what I can for her. As for your sister in-law I would simply tell her she has authorization to resolve her concerns for the next 60 days if she is so worried about his care. And if she does help then maybe she can share his support with you from now on. It's a hard thing taking care of someone with memory issues. I can't help thinking there is still the person I married 44 years ago in there looking out with so much fear and anguish wondering why can't I do what I want how I want and when I want. I would create terror in anyone's eyes. I feel for you and hope you can work things out for your husband.